I’m so scared of nose removal

It’s been almost 5 years since I had it done without an implant, and I’ve developed nasal show-through. I come into this community every day to look up posts about nose removal, and when I wake up in the morning, I always end up looking in the mirror first. So I hate waking up in the morning, and I always end up going to bed late. Maybe because I keep obsessing over my nose, it even feels like my nose hurts, and I buy and take anti-inflammatory medicine for no reason... To other people, it might not look like a major complication, but... now I’ve become so anxious What if it breaks through, what if I get inflammation, what if contracture happens? I’m always thinking about this. Sigh, I feel like I’m going to develop a mental illness. I got it done without my family knowing, so I can’t even tell them, and since I’m feeling bad alone, my mom keeps asking what’s wrong. Even if I want to have my nose removed, money is an issue, but another complication could happen after surgery too. If a complication happens, I’ll probably think I should have just lived with the nose I had after that surgery. What’s the right answer? What should I do... I did make a hospital appointment for now, but if after the consultation my condition is worse than I thought, I think I’ll really collapse emotionally. Sigh, I really regret it so much. I shouldn’t have had nose surgery.

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