One month after nose surgery..

It’s been one month since my nose surgery..... For the whole month since surgery, whether asleep or awake, I’ve been carrying a mirror around... Ah, I’m so sad What should I do about this nose?? Before surgery, my nose wasn’t that high, but people said it was pretty, and I even had a friend who got surgery to look like my nose........... I was only going to do the nasal bridge, but I’m easily swayed, so I ended up doing the nasal tip too... Now I hear all kinds of awful things... hooked nose, foreigner, mouse, man, asking if I got hit somewhere.... Every day I feel heat rising all the way to the top of my head. When I look at my face, I just curse and sob I had surgery with silicone + septal cartilage + donated cartilage... The nasal bridge is wide, the nasal tip is blunt... the nose is crooked, even the nostrils and nasal alae are uneven, and inside the right nostril there are two bulging protrusions. You could say I can barely breathe through the right side I don’t know why I keep having a runny nose only on the right side, but why does foreign material keep building up and make it sting?? I want to take all of this out, but even having it removed there makes me anxious, and if I take everything out, will it go back to my old nose??? Or can I leave only the silicone and remove everything else?? They said to just revise the nostril in September, but I’m too anxious to do it If I don’t have surgery and just leave it alone, then get surgery somewhere else after 6 months, will it be okay??? Even if not all of it, is there really no way to get a refund...???