I had surgery on October 1.. It’s already been four days. Haha. For two months, I saved money with the single thought that I had to get nose surgery.. My phone even got disconnected while I was saving money.. I was scraping by....helping at my father’s shop and doing part-time work.... And at home, I kept telling them I had a pool of old blood under my eye and needed surgery.. For two months, I brainwashed them like crazy. Heh. I saved up hard, and finally the day of surgery came. My body was all swollen because I couldn’t sleep, and I went outside with an umbrella. Not much ever goes right for me on rainy days.. I even thought maybe it was some sign telling me not to have surgery. My father said, "Do you really have to do it? Help out at the shop instead," and I got angry and came out. Then...out of stubbornness, I went to the hospital anyway. I sat in the hospital for about ten minutes, then the doctor called me in. He looked at my nose again.. Then he had me stand there and snapped photos of my nose from every angle like I was a criminal... I didn’t really like the feeling of suddenly becoming some kind of cosmetic model- -;; Anyway, after the photos.. They took me straight to the operating room.. There were no patient gowns or anything; I was in my own clothes..and climbing onto the operating table felt like I was getting treated by some shady back-alley clinic/ㅎ Anyway...I got on the operating table... From that moment on, I started shaking... I came here stubbornly because my dad said not to have surgery, but once I was on the table, I think the fear got bigger.. I lay down and they started anesthesia in my ear.. I thought it would be just like getting poked a few times, like piercing an ear.. Oh...it hurt way more than I expected...At the time, I thought it wasn’t anesthesia and that they were cutting off flesh..... After about ten minutes, the doctor said, “Alright, anesthesia is done...!!” At that moment I thought, oh no, if that was just anesthesia, then how much longer is this going to take and how much more is it going to hurt? Then after waiting the five minutes for the anesthesia to fully take effect, at the doctor’s command of “Scalpel 1!!” and with the nurses’ hands moving quickly, the surgery began.. It felt like my ear wasn’t an ear at all, but styrofoam pasted next to my ear. Swish!!! Swish!!!....With the sound of something scraping... I suddenly thought, "Do I really have to do this to the face my parents gave me... just take out the ear cartilage... Maybe I should only remove the cartilage and not do the surgery"... I kept having that thought for a moment. I was constantly uneasy....and thinking about giving up in the middle of surgery.. Once those thoughts passed, the ear cartilage harvest was over.. Then they said they would anesthetize my nose. Well, there are differences in how much it hurts depending on the person when it comes to nose anesthesia... The reason I thought I should never get cosmetic surgery again was because of the nose anesthesia. Because I have a short nose, they said they had to use not only ear cartilage but also the cartilage inside my nose, and there was a problem with the columella area, so that shape had to be redone. They said they would need to use more anesthesia than for other people.. The first needle was at the tip of my nose...a needle as long as two finger joints went right into the tip of my nose. Ah!!!...It really hurt ...really.ㅎㅎ So I was like, this nose anesthesia hurts this much? and I shouted in my head that I didn’t want the surgery... but strangely, it didn’t come out on the outside.ㅎ Anyway, starting with the tip of the nose, they injected all over the nostrils..the bridge, the forehead..and inside the nose.. My face wasn’t crying tears of sadness. It wasn’t crying tears of pain or unfairness either. They flowed down like tears that come out when you yawn.. The moment I felt relieved after hearing that the anesthesia was done.. I had been so tense that my arm kept trembling nonstop. They were cutting into my nose and all that, and my arm kept shaking shake shake shake shake shake.. The nurse next to me had her stomach against my arm, but it kept shaking and I was embarrassed, so even when I tried to tense up, it still shook.. Wow, I was straining everything in my neck.. They cut into the nose and lifted it upward with no mercy.. Poking and prodding... Doing all that took one or two hours.. So I thought, maybe it’s almost over now.. But then they started poking my nose again.. But the anesthesia had worn off a little, so I could feel the pain, and the doctor put another shot into my nose.. Ugh!! Seriously, from the smell of the anesthesia injection to the pain, it gave me chills.. They operated for about an hour with my neck completely tense.. I wasn’t opening my eyes because of the blinding light.. But time was moving so slowly that I got curious.. I opened my eyes to a slit....and there were scissors and a scalpel.. The tip of my nose had been cut and lifted up like a pig nose, and the end of my nose was right there in front of my eyes. For a moment I thought, they’re really cutting the nose off and doing surgery like this.. I thought again, this was some crazy thing I’d done.. When about two-thirds of the anesthesia had worn off, they finally started stitching it closed. Actually...it hurt because the anesthesia was wearing off, but thinking that it had to end quickly.. I held it in and...finished the surgery.. Total surgery time: four and a half hours..(of course some people take much longer.. but for surgery like mine, they said it was a pretty big operation..) Near the end, the doctor said that this was a surgery that took a long time but cost little.. And what I was thinking was.. I’ve never done a nose this unusual and unique before, so I wanted to challenge myself once.. But then I thought maybe he’s just pretending to have done it cheaply....should I tell him to put it back the way it was.. Anyway, the surgery ended...and because of me, the procedures for the patients scheduled after me were delayed. So I couldn’t hear anything about how the surgery was done...what they did...or what the precautions were, I only heard, “Come back tomorrow at nine,” got my medical certificate, picked up my medicine, and was sent home. In the taxi on the way home, I took a photo with my phone and thought, My original nose was better...even if it was ugly, my nose was way better than this, what is this.. I was so resentful.... Since this was a surgery my parents didn’t know about...I swallowed my frustration alone and went home. Even while doing massage at home.....I was really wronged, thinking I shouldn’t have done it at all;; My face is my face, but they made my nose shorter and uglier all by itself, and I kept getting teary.. Even when my parents spoke to me, I wouldn’t answer, and I hardly came out of my room.. I spent the day like that with my eyes open the whole time. The next day I went back as the doctor had said.. What do you know, the hospital wasn’t open- -;; At that moment, what I thought was!!! Did they ruin my surgery and run away? Was it really a shady clinic?? What about my nose..etc. I thought of everything, waited thirty minutes, and then came home.. I wasted so much taxi fare- -;; I was depressed- -angry- -;;;regretful I suddenly missed my parents.... I realized how precious the face given by my parents is- -;; When I got home, my grandmother, worried about me, had bought pumpkin porridge. I was really moved. After eating that..my grandmother kept taking care of me with this and that... It wasn’t even an illness, but because she was worried about her foolish grandson who went and did this just to look better, she was taking care of me like this...and I hadn’t even bought my grandmother a single pain patch.. Once again I couldn’t say anything and cried inside.. At home, I held it in.. On the third day.. I wanted to take out everything inside my nose, but I couldn’t breathe and had to sleep breathing through my mouth. My mouth got so dry...I woke up while sleeping, wow, I was going crazy. I thought about going to the hospital again today, but since it was National Foundation Day and they might be closed again, it would be a waste. I held it in and got through the day... On the fourth day.. By then I was even thinking, why should I go to the hospital anyway?;; Then, reluctantly, I went to the hospital supported by my grandmother.. The doctor, who had been so cold before, was smiling brightly, and the nurses were much gentler too. And...it turned out that on the day I went to the hospital....they had told me to come by ten o’clock, but I went at nine, waited thirty minutes, and went home- -;; They asked me whether my nose wasn’t stuffy and whether I hadn’t been able to sleep. In that moment I just blurted everything out because I was so frustrated, saying I felt so stuffy I was going crazy and exaggerating how hard it was. Smiling, they said that even when they called, I didn’t answer, and no matter how they tried to contact me, I never picked up, and they were the ones worried, thinking maybe something had gone wrong with the surgery and I’d gone to the emergency room or somewhere like that, and they laughed. For the first time after surgery, I felt comfortable.. The stitches will come out the day after tomorrow, on Thursday.. Maybe because I’ve gotten used to my face compared to the first day, it’s not to the point where I’d cry over how I look. Of course, I still think my old face was better, but I don’t want to have surgery again, so I’m going to leave it as it is. Everyone.. Those of you who haven’t had surgery yet.. Those of you planning to have surgery.. Please think one more time. First... Do I really have to rely on medicine and surgery to change the face my parents gave me? Second.... Not everyone becomes more handsome or prettier just because they have plastic surgery.. There are limits unique to each person.. Third.... Is your appearance really that lacking, both in other people’s eyes and in your own eyes? Please think about just these three things at least once.. It seems there are many people here who had good results... so there weren’t many posts from people who regretted it. Please read my post.. and don’t regret it like I did...and please know that too much expectation can be harmful. I got a lot of help from this community, but I’m disappointed that I couldn’t get help like this. If I had read a post like mine, I would have thought about surgery one more time!! And!! If you do have surgery, if there are two or more surgical areas at once.. Do only one per surgery.. If you do both and then want any more......it becomes hard to go back to how it was before. Even if you try one and think it’s okay, if you later get another surgery... If there’s anyone who read my post, I sincerely thank you.
I hope my post gives you a chance to think once more. If I have surgery and end up looking worse than before, what then? What if it fails? I think if you also think about things like that...you’ll be more satisfied with the result of surgery.