What would you do if you were me.. This is about revision rhinoplasty…

Hello I had rhinoplasty impulsively in my early 20s and I had an inflammatory reaction, but I didn’t know it was inflammation so I left it alone, then contracture progressed and I removed the silicone. The glabella area was rasped down, so it’s very flat, and the nasal tip is not severe, but it is upturned, and the tissue is hard. It’s been 6 months now Because the glabella is so low and flat, I want to add height and lengthen the nasal tip. Since a high glabella doesn’t suit me anyway, I’m not hoping for it to become dramatically high or anything. I just want to fill in some of the volume because there is too much of a slope? between it and the nasal tip. People seeing me for the first time wouldn’t know, but everyone who knew me before can notice.. It’s very stressful. I’ve also been on leave from school for 2 years and haven’t been able to go. I’ve saved the money now and am waiting for revision surgery, but I plan to wait until this winter to do it. In the meantime, I’m living like a walking corpse. When I go around to hospitals, many recommend dermis, because if I use an implant, inflammation could come again. But dermis has quite a lot of side effects. I don’t like it in terms of shape either.. Of course, the before-and-after photos shown at dermis-specialized hospitals make you think, huh? that looks okay~ But having failed once, I know very well that that isn’t everything. Dermis somehow feels like crossing a river I can’t return from, and silicone is just as unsettling.. I had a silicone foreign-body reaction/chronic inflammation, so putting it in again feels like a suicidal act, but since there’s no other method, I’m worried.. I even think about putting silicone in one more time and then switching to dermis. I’m having surgery to become pretty again, and you may think I’m really pathetic right now, but appearance is everything to me. I can only think about my nose.. I had studies and dreams too, but I can’t get myself to do anything. I thought it would get better with time, but it doesn’t.. It’s not like I’m going to make a living with my face, but maybe because I’m still young..... Doctors at dermis-specialized hospitals always recommend dermis, and at regular plastic surgery clinics, they say things like, for stability choose dermis, for shape choose silicone, you decide.. What would be the wise decision? The material and the hospital are tormenting my head so much. Please give me some advice...