Hello
I’ve only been reading posts on the board, and this is my first time writing one.
It’s been about two and a half months since my surgery.
My nose was low and upturned, so I had an implant + ear cartilage.. and although septal cartilage was not used, the doctor lengthened my nose.. I don’t know exactly how he did it, but anyway, the tip of my nose came down very naturally..
Looking only at the surgery itself, it was a successful surgery.. and even just looking at my nose, it’s pretty...
But I feel such strong resistance toward having an implant..
I was a little worried before surgery, but celebrities all get nose surgery and live fine.. and there are so many people getting nose surgery, so
I thought I’d be able to live fine even with an implant in.
But the fact that the implant is inside and makes my nose hard.. and since I didn’t even use septal cartilage, mine is probably less hard than other people’s noses, but still
it’s so, so mentally difficult...
When I look at my pre-op photos, I think I would have been fine living as I was, and I blame myself a lot for getting greedy and ending up like this..
When I look in the mirror, my head tells me it’s okay because my nose got prettier,
but since there’s an implant inside, I keep noticing it.. Even just washing my face, the feeling when I touch my nose is different..
Because of that, I can’t sleep well and keep having nightmares.
Dreams where my nose falls off or melts... dreams about revision surgery, and so on.
I asked the doctor who operated on me whether removal was possible, and he said it is possible, but that it’s safest after 6 months, so I’m waiting..
Actually, when I look at posts from people on the removal board too, they say the nose stabilizes after 6 months.. Since it’s the same surgery, I started thinking that my nose must still be healing inside.. Safety is the most important thing, so I’m telling myself, okay.. let’s endure 6 months, and I’m waiting.
At first, when I thought about removal, I wondered how I could go through surgery again,
and I felt like my nose would be completely ruined...
Also, seeing posts from people who had removal saying their nose became ugly was really hard for me.
But recently, seeing posts from people who had removal a long time ago saying that with time, their nose returns to the way it used to be, has given me strength.
Rather, while waiting 6 months, I feel like I’m sorting out my feelings a bit on my own..
Everyone who is struggling emotionally, your removals will go well..
Even people who say they’re having a hard time.. when I read their posts, many say people around them don’t know they had removal.
Actually, even after I had surgery, except for one of my best friends, everyone didn’t know until I told them..
I think noses are like that.. They shape the overall impression.. So even if you know, people around you don’t really notice the change... unless you put before-and-after photos side by side.
So I’m thinking that after removal and after time passes, it will be okay, and other people won’t care at all..
Actually, before surgery I was so self-conscious about my nose because I thought it was unattractive, but after surgery, seeing that nobody else noticed,
I realized I had been the only one worrying about what others thought..
If the removal goes well.. I really want to live while cherishing myself.
Everyone on the removal board, stay strong!!
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