Septal deviation surgery, septal strut + 2 layers of ear cartilage + silicone + nasal cartilage tying (alar reduction). I think I had probably every possible surgery done. Of course, the result was disastrous. Because my skin is very thin and fair, the surgery did not suit me: a hard foreign-body sensation, 11-shaped silicone show-through, the nasal tip cartilage visibly rotated to the left, and from the side, a columella standing sharply upright as if cut with a knife... I waited because they said it would get better if I waited, but my mental suffering only deepened. Starting from 3 months, the clinic also acknowledged their fault to some extent and suggested removal.
For 6 months, even while I couldn’t sleep, vomited, cried, and even received psychiatric treatment, I tried to soothe and comfort myself, thinking, `Since it’s something done by people, if this much work was done, of course it would look awkward and feel like a foreign body. It’ll get better. If I touch it more, my nose will be completely ruined and collapse.` I tried to endure and endure.
But starting last month (January 2014), my nose hurt for about ten days, and then there was blood. My mother saw that and told me to remove it. She said, let’s just let everything go now, it can’t get worse. Because of those words, I gathered courage, immediately scheduled surgery, and had the operation.
Actually, even while consulting with the doctor right before surgery, I cried like crazy and said I was scared and couldn’t do it again. But the doctor pushed me, saying we should just do the surgery right away and that I was someone who would have to take it out someday anyway, so I ended up lying on the operating table. Because I was afraid of developing trauma, I had closed surgery under sleep anesthesia, and I think it was a good decision. The surgery was unbelievably simple and really didn’t hurt at all. Maybe because of the anesthesia, I was dizzy, my nasal bridge throbbed, and the inside of my nose only stung slightly.
They had said I would have no nasal bridge at all, so I was extremely scared, but maybe because of swelling, it’s still okay for now. It is lifted as much as where the strut had been, but seeing that the columella has already slightly drooped as if becoming a little rounded, I feel like I can endure this much. I personally think a slightly rounded columella is natural and refined.
And what improved is that my eyes came back. After the nose surgery, my eyes looked pulled inward, making me look fierce and throwing off the balance, and I think people saying the impression comes back is because of the eyes.
The best thing is that when I press lightly, the cartilage is soft. They said it becomes firm again during the contraction phase, but for now it’s soft.^^ When applying lip balm, I used to get a severe foreign-body sensation when making the “mm” mouth shape and pulling my lips together, but without realizing it, I could just do it easily, so I cried again lol, because I was happyㅜㅜ
What I’m worried about is whether the nose that became an unfortunate-looking chalk-like nose has gained some volume, whether the rotated nostril/alar area has returned, and whether the alae will contract upward as if lifted. Maybe because it hasn’t been long since surgery, the nostrils aren’t showing severely, but it feels like the nasal tip/alar lobule is lifted. Actually, the glabella is also very flat and feels like there’s nothing there.
Still, my body and mind had been in so much pain, and the shape was terrible, so I don’t regret my choice. I learned that everywhere, there are gains and losses. I just hope I can comfortably stay like this without a contraction phase and have an uneventful recovery.^^
This community was exhausting and scary, but I met many truly good people here. Some people I don’t see anymore are now living very happily, and there are people who still comfort me and are like older sisters to me, and I also gained a younger friend who helped me make my decision. As someone who postponed an obvious decision out of fear, I thought I should post here first, so I’m writing this long post. For the time being, I’m going to take a break from this community and try to follow my progress and manage things as positively as possible.
Decide carefully, but if removal really is the answer.. I want to tell you to gather courage.
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