I'm becoming a crazy woman, crying and laughing

It's okay, it's the same as before, let's not think about it then I search through this community and cry then look for revision surgery hospitals and feel hopeful then get discouraged, thinking it won't be possible until 6 months later.... I ask people around me how I look and when I hear, "You look the same as before surgery, it's just because you're a bit swollen," I feel like I have the whole world but when a slightly honest friend tells me objectively, I get suicidal thoughts.... It's the same every day An opportunity to become closer to my family I used to meet my boyfriend every day, spend all my money, go out, and never come home but after breaking up with my boyfriend, I go walking the dog with my mother, and I even suddenly call my older sister who lives far away, even though we normally don't even KakaoTalk, and sob to her while crying my eyes out   I'm glad I have family.... If this hadn't happened, would I ever have realized how precious my family is? Would I ever have felt how precious a friend who listens to me vent is? They say even successful plastic surgery can have a yo-yo effect Maybe we'll have a yo-yo effect too and be able to go back to how we were before surgery We're being scolded for the reckless days we had I can't let myself droop like this How much must the hearts of my family who love me be breaking? Once my removal stitches are taken out, I'll put on makeup, get long hair extensions, and go around looking pretty We made a wrong choice, but it's not our fault It was just a momentary mistake, and we were unlucky Let's stay strong It will take time, but we'll go back^^ Even though I'm saying this, tomorrow I'll probably cry and laugh again Still, we need to have times when we think positively too^^