(Photos deleted)
Hello. This was a place I used to come into whenever I had time, even up to three months after removal, and it has been a really long time since I came back to this community. Rather than writing this to provide information, I stopped by in case there are still people here suffering from how their appearance changed after rhinoplasty and waiting for a removal or reconstruction surgery date. This was a place that helped me a lot when I was in so much pain and desperate, so when 6 months had passed after removal, I kept thinking I should post a review, but coming into this space felt repulsive, it felt like homework, and it seemed to keep reminding me of that horrifying nose shape, so I didn’t write a review. Now I’m finally at a point where I’m really okay (both my nose and my mind), so I’m writing this. It’s anonymous, but I feel like there is exactly one friend who would recognize my nickname. If that friend still sometimes comes into this place, they’ll probably see this too, right? I miss that friend because I leaned on them a lot during the 6 months I waited for removal. To get to the point, in the summer of my early twenties, I had septal extension + silicone + ear cartilage surgery. My plain, not flashy face was my charm, but like a fool, I lay down on the operating table vaguely thinking I would become prettier if I had surgery. From the moment the splint came off, it was a continuation of hellish days. Even now, when I think of the place where I had my first surgery, I hate it so much that I tremble with anger and tears come first. After surgery, my nose looked completely separate from my face, looked masculine, was disgusting, and became so terrible and strange that even people who originally knew me were horrified. To the point where people would point fingers behind my back. The silicone height was twice the mm discussed in the prior consultation, and they even performed septal extension, which I had not consented to, completely ruining my face. For exactly 5 months and 3 weeks, I thought about suicide every day. During that time, I could not meet even one person’s eyes, I lost friends I thought were on my side, and every day I barely searched for a reason to live, holding on with the thought that even if I died, I would remove it first and then die. The hardest thing was hating myself for walking onto the operating table on my own feet, without properly knowing the downsides of rhinoplasty, thinking that since I had a pretty face, I would become even prettier. I went for consultations at every single hospital said to be famous for removal surgery. At one month, I wanted early removal; at three months, I felt like I was really going to die; when it was almost 6 months, looking at a nose that had not become even 1 percent more natural than the nose right after the splint came off, I thought that if removal also failed, I would die immediately. The result of the removal surgery is neither a failure nor a success. I can’t go back to the face I was originally born with. I lost the prettiness I had before. I really became less attractive. Still, about 50 percent of the atmosphere of my natural face is there, so it is better than the nose with the implant, and I am living. Even so, from other people’s perspective, they say it was a “success” anyway and tell me I’m almost the old me. Even before removal surgery, my expectations were low to begin with. My mindset was that as long as it wasn’t this nose, I could live. After removal, I have all of these: a shortened columella, scar tissue, and a wide, puffy-looking nose, but I’m just going to live with it. I’m not as pretty as before. But I realized something. I think rhinoplasty is something that should be done by people who have fully seen the downsides of nose surgery and still think they should do it, and who have studied all the possible side effects and still feel they can endure them. I became less attractive, but after removal, my values and my life changed. I did develop a bad habit of looking at people’s noses instead of meeting their eyes when I look at their faces, but I learned that instead of only decorating the outer shell, truly cultivating my inner self and building up myself as a person is more valuable. I also learned the preciousness of family, and the importance of time and opportunities. I am actually grateful that I learned these things while I am still young. Those who made a mistake like me can make up for it. Some of you may think, “Is that as easy as it sounds?” but from the moment I opened my eyes until I went to sleep, I thought only about my nose, I went to psychiatry, and I cried every day. So I know how those who are struggling feel. Still... If there are people who are suffering enough to feel like dying, please don’t think about dying. If there are people who feel like they are bleeding dry while waiting for the removal day, imagine the future where you have the removal surgery and live a new life. A day really does come when, like a lie, you become calm. A day comes when you think, “It would have been terrible if I had died. That would have been so unfair.” I was like that too. The words that hurt me most from someone I knew were: “She got plastic surgery because she wanted to, and now that it failed she’s whining and talking about dying.” Other people really don’t know. Since it’s not their own issue or their own face, they only comfort you on the surface. Still, please don’t be hurt. Truly overcome it and live a new life with a new mindset. I don’t want to tell you the hospital for the first surgery or the removal hospital. Neither surgery was a success. I really received a lot of comfort from posts I read here alone.. If there is anyone who, like me before removal, is drying up and becoming sick because they can’t die, please message me. I may not be able to give you strength, but I can listen. This post was really disorganized, but the weather is getting cold, so everyone, please be careful not to catch a cold!
Like 25