2-Month Update

It's been a while since I wrote anything T_T First of all, I haven't had any major side effects so far. What is better than when I had the surgery is that the characteristic hardness and fixed feeling of the support have gone away when I touch it.. At the consultation, I was told that because I had lengthened it with donated rib cartilage, it would probably have been more uncomfortable than for other people, and it really was uncomfortable T_T It felt like my whole body was taking all its fatigue through my nose.. And as for the appearance, I am not sure about the contraction phase. It just feels like the inside of my nose is still a bit uncomfortable. If I think of it as a tight feeling, it does feel tight? Anyway, my nose still does not feel completely comfortable yet. But when I touch it with my hand or it gets lightly bumped, it is much more comfortable than when I had the surgery. As for the shape, my original nose was a little hooked, and after removal the tip seems to have risen slightly compared with before. The tip still seems very swollen, and I am scared it might stop like this. Also, the columella scar was really bad after the first surgery, but after removal it seems to be improving a bit faster. People say columella scars depend a lot on your own skin, but to me, surgeon skill seems to matter a lot too.. The skin is red and rough, with a bumpy, wrinkled feeling.. Makeup does not sit well T_T Since this was removing something that had been inserted, maybe the stretched skin has not yet been able to contract back. My nose skin is sensitive too, so that may be part of it. Lately this has been my biggest stressor. Will it get better..? If anyone has had a similar experience, please leave a comment T_T T_T Anyway, after removal, another kind of mental struggle seems to come too. Even after removal, you really cannot handle it the same way you would your original nose T_T It does not move like that either.. haha There always seems to be a constant need to be careful and a constant anxiety. I chose this because I wanted to look prettier, but it has made me suffer so much.. I am still young, and I wonder how many more days I will have to struggle because of my nose.. When I went for a consultation because I wanted rhinoplasty, one doctor said that unless nose surgery goes really, really well, it is a face that has far more to lose. The doctor at the hospital where I had surgery also said we should only touch the tip, and that very few people come out this well on the plastic surgery camera. But damn.. I never thought I would end up unable to wear makeup and having to go around with a mask for almost a year because of my nose.. What can I do? I guess it is my own fault for going through with it after hearing those words. This was supposed to be a post after removal, but somehow it turned into a rant haha T_T Anyway, in the end, I do regret the surgery, but I do not regret the removal. If I could go back, I would never get rhinoplasty, but a lot of people around me, and people who had rhinoplasty, seem to live happily satisfied with it too. If I vented this to a friend who never had rhinoplasty, they would never understand this feeling. If I told a friend who had it done, they are satisfied because it went well, so they would not understand this feeling either. So I could not tell anyone. That is why I came to write a review for people like me, so that my post can be of some help. Anyway, I will try to keep writing updates up to at least 1 year. To everyone going through similar hardship, fighting T_T