I’m finally going to have it removed today

I’m the person who said last time that I was going to have my nose surgery removed just one week after the operation.  The director said that my stitches had not even been removed yet, and that this really did not seem right; once the swelling went down, the foreign-body sensation would decrease too, and it would start to feel like my own nose, so I should wait just a little, and if it still felt strange, he would remove it anytime. Even so, I asked him to remove it, and he told me to wait just two more days. He said to remove the stitches today, then two days later take off the taping at home in the morning, and if I really still could not stand it, I should come in... I was so upset that tears came out while they were disinfecting it.. Three nurses were just staring at me.. The director kept saying he did not know what this was about.. and told me to wait a little.. It was so hard. Since I was traveling back and forth from out of town, that was hard too. More than anything, the biggest reason I want removal is the foreign-body sensation. Eventually, those two days passed, and today has come. I just took off the taping, and sigh... I wish I hadn’t. My nostrils look severely uneven and feel pinched... I had been telling myself to stay calm because I’m having it removed today, but my mind is being shaken again and my heart is racing. Today is the 9th day since surgery. I’m going to have it removed. Today.   During the consultation with the director two days ago, he said it may not fully return to my old nose. I had osteotomy, and the slightly protruding hump was shaved down too, so that is already something that can’t be helped.. When I asked whether, even aside from that part, it could become stranger than my old nose, he said there is that possibility... And he said that if all the cartilage is removed too, it has to be done with an open approach... A lot of people here seem to have done it with a closed approach too,   Maybe because I had osteotomy during the surgery, I was swollen like someone who had two-jaw surgery.. I’m so scared. Whether I’ll swell that much again and suffer. My old nose wasn’t ugly or anything, but I really want to turn back time, and now that it’s the 9th day, I wonder what on earth I did.   I’m also supposed to go straight back to work from early November, so this is a big problem.   Ah, my period started yesterday.................. It should still be okay to do it, right I don’t think I can wait anymore..