People who had surgery long ago and then had their nose removed, and people with a naturally unattractive nose

I'm on my third surgery now and I just want to remove everything because I'm not happy with it.. The reasons I want it removed are: my natural nose was big, wide, not low, and the tip was droopy; after the second surgery the nose became long and droopy, like a sharp witch nose (sharp Pinocchio); after the third surgery, trying to lift the droopy part made the nose even higher and bigger; trying to round out the sharpness made the nose into a protruding nose (big-nosed Pinocchio). I came to the conclusion that no matter what I do to my nose, I can't get a shape I'm satisfied with.. More than anything, after surgery my nose is so, so high that I hate the way people stare at my nose from the side or at an angle It feels almost like social anxiety.. When you go to a clinic for a removal consultation, everyone brings a photo of their natural nose and asks to make it look as similar as possible. But it's been so long for me so I don't have a proper photo of my natural nose. For people like me who don't have photos because it was so long ago, how did you get your consultation? And... I'm still really torn, but I'm very sensitive to changes in how I look depression.. something that doesn't feel like me.. Right now, even though I don't like the side view, the front view is still prettier than my natural nose, so I've lived comfortably with this face for 20 years. But since my natural nose wasn't very pretty when I read removal reviews, everyone's natural nose is pretty~~ Mine was flat, big, and hooked like an arrow nose If I go back to that and look ugly, I'm worried I'll start thinking about surgery again and get depressed, so I'm worried about that too.. If your natural nose wasn't very pretty, I'm curious how it felt after removal It's so hard Should I get nose revision follow-up again, and if so, just go back to something similar to the artificial nose I had before and endure the uncomfortable stares while living with a familiar appearance, or should I remove everything and live in peace, but with an ugly nose that has changed.. I don't think I can live with how I look now It's a big-nosed protruding nose just