Yesterday I went into the operating room at 5, and I remember talking with the anesthesiologist a little later. After that, I had no memory at all. When I was waking up from anesthesia, in my mind I was saying, please wake me up, and I wanted to get up, but I absolutely did not get up like that. I could hear someone next to me saying, come to your senses, are you okay, the surgery went well, but I don’t know if it was the doctor’s voice or a nurse’s voice. When my consciousness came back, Truth Game was on the TV.. Truth Game is a program I usually watch often, but yesterday none of that fun content reached my ears at all… Somehow I felt as if my existence was like a spiritual being, just looking at the TV. Still, what made me feel I was alive was hunger… This terrible hunger was what I felt as soon as I opened my eyes, and my throat kept feeling scratchy. Yesterday I didn’t know why it hurt, but when I asked this morning, they said that because of general anesthesia, a breathing tube had been inserted into my airway.. When I complained to the nurse unni about my hunger and thirst, she said no.. For thirst relief, she gave me half a paper cup of water, but said I shouldn’t gulp even that down, and that I should drink the half cup over several hours… sip by sip After drinking water, I was curious about my face, so I felt it with my hands, and my face was completely wrapped in bandages. I was also curious what I looked like, so I slowly got up and trudged over to the mirror in the hospital room. The moment I stood up, I felt dizzy for a moment, but since I’m practically the very definition of sturdy, I left the dizziness behind and charged toward the mirror.. Oops~~~ A mummy that reminded me of Anpanman was standing in front of the mirror. At that exact moment, the clock hands were unfortunately pointing to 12…. I’m scared I’ll see it in my dreams.. I quickly turned around and went back to bed, and tried to sleep again, but my reflection in the mirror kept coming to mind, so I couldn’t sleep. On top of that, my ears felt blocked, like when you go somewhere high and the air pressure doesn’t match and your ears plug up, it felt strange, and my face seemed to throb and feel stiff, and I felt like I had a fever too. More than anything, the bandages made me feel suffocated.. and the blood drain tubes hanging on both sides, like grenades, made me even more scared.. In that moment.. the thought that maybe I had had surgery for nothing came over me, and I don’t know why I felt so miserable.. For the first time, I resented my mom.. Because I take after my mom, so I’m a square-faced princess with a big face… My younger sister, who takes after my dad, is the very definition of sharp and slender, but I am truly the very definition of broad and flat.. If I overcome this pain, will I be able to become slim-faced.. Can even my face, which is so wide, become smaller.. I don’t even wish for a fist-sized face. I just want at least an ordinary face. Can this small wish of mine come true.. When I take off the bandages, will I be able to see my slim face…
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