Bulbous nose surgery!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyone had alar reduction…

My nose was so bulbous that I had nose surgery (ear cartilage, osteotomy, cartilage tying, hump shaving). It was originally a short nose, but after cartilage tying, those widely spread-out structures were suddenly stitched together with the cartilage tying, so it got even shorter My nostril wings were already wide, and my nostrils were big too.. You can see that from the front. It became like an upturned nose, and the nostrils also look like 八... Even after taking ear cartilage to lengthen the columella, it’s still above the nostrils. For over a month I’ve only been wearing a mask and going around, and I couldn’t even meet friends. This time I went for a follow-up, and the doctor said my nose is still bulky, and that it would be better to make it a bit slimmer and take more ear cartilage from one ear (!!!!) to lengthen it a bit more, and said we should touch it up a little more at the 3-month mark.. My skin is thick too, so I feel like the open-surgery scar is darker than other people’s, and that one surgery was so horrible that I never want to do it again. I do think my nose is a bit strange too (sometimes it seems okay, but more often I think no, it’s not), but cutting open my nose again, cutting my ear again, and touching up this and that is so scary. Maybe because my skin is thick from the first surgery, I have scar tissue here and there, and I feel like more scars will remain. Even the ear I had done a month ago still hurts. I wonder if a short nose will really lengthen if they lengthen it more, and the doctor also said my nostril wings are too big so reducing them would be... but because scars remain, they don’t do it often. For those who had alar reduction, do scars remain? Scar or not, when I look at photos, if the nostrils are reduced, it looks a bit obvious that something was cut out. My nostrils are spread out like Black people’s nostril wings, so only making the nasal tip slimmer and lengthening it seems a bit ridiculous, but doing it together makes me think that the more you touch a nose surgery, the stranger it gets. I’m scared it’ll scar, or become more artificial, and I don’t know whether I should do it or not. My current nose is strange too, and if I have surgery I’ll go through all that hardship again, and I don’t know if I’ll have to stay stuck at home for several more months... There’s no guarantee it will be 100% better even if I do it, and I already did it, but every day I just think why did I do it and keep crying. What should I do? I’m suffering so much