I wondered if there were people like me whose mental state falls apart after cosmetic surgery, so I decided to write about my experience.
I had my first nose surgery 8 years ago. Back then, they lifted the nasal tip with ear cartilage and used AlloDerm for the bridge, and I think I also asked for a natural look during the consultation. For about 7 months after surgery, I was fairly satisfied. As time passed, the signs of surgery faded and it looked more natural, and I just lived with it as if it were my own nose. But after that, I gradually started to feel the tip drooping a little. At some point I started thinking, “The nasal tip looks too low...,” and for almost 7 years after that, every now and then I kept thinking, “Ah, the nasal tip... I just wish the tip could be improved a little...”
My eyes were already fairly good in vertical size, but they felt a little close together, and compared with that, I felt the horizontal length was a bit lacking. So for a long time I had been thinking that I wanted to get outer canthoplasty and a nasal tip improvement someday. Then during this summer vacation, I finally had my eyes and nose done together. It has been exactly about 2 weeks now.
For the first week after surgery, while I was still wearing the splint, I actually felt satisfied. Every day I looked in the mirror and thought, “This time the nasal tip really came forward,” and I was happy. I also felt fairly satisfied seeing the outer canthus widening on my eyes. The problem started once the splint came off and I could see my whole face.
Because I had been so bothered by my nasal tip lowering again over the last 7 years, in this consultation I kept emphasizing things like, “I really want the nasal tip to be clearly improved” and “I do not want it to lack height this time.” In the end, autologous rib cartilage was used to support the tip, and silicone was inserted into the bridge, which I think is about 4 mm.
And the nose I see in the mirror now has that Pinocchio-like look that people who have looked into cosmetic surgery would recognize. The glabella and bridge are much higher, and the tip is sharp and pushed forward, so it feels obvious at a glance that “ah, I had my nose done,” and that stresses me out so much. My eyes also became much clearer because I had buried double eyelid surgery and ptosis correction together, but because the nose also became so strong at the same time, my whole facial impression feels too sharp and unfamiliar, like it is not the face I used to know.
I do not think it is the doctor's fault. The consultation was kind, and rather, because I kept emphasizing that I wanted the nasal tip raised clearly, I think they did what I asked for. I just think I was too hasty. That is what I regret most.
Honestly, before surgery I had almost no complaints about my life. I worked hard and got a new car, going to the gym steadily four times a week was fun, I worked hard at the office, and going out with friends on weekends was enjoyable. If I had to put a number on it, my life satisfaction was probably 99 back then.
But now, whenever I look in the mirror, all I see are my eyes and nose. I keep worrying whether people at work will recognize me, or whether even people seeing me for the first time will think, “She had her nose done, she had her eyes done.” I have been comparing photos for hours. For the past 3 days I have not slept properly, and my anxiety has become severe again. I keep thinking about why I was living fine and then touched my face and ended up struggling this much.
Of course, I know it has only been 2 weeks since surgery, so once the swelling goes down it may become much more natural than it is now. But after thinking a lot, I realized that what I wanted was not a completely different face. Just a slight refinement of the nasal tip from my pre-surgery face, and maybe just a little more openness around the eyes, would have been enough.
So now I am considering removing the buried double eyelid and ptosis correction as much as possible to return to my pre-surgery eye shape, and I am consulting about either removing the silicone from the nose entirely or lowering it as much as possible so it feels natural and similar to my pre-surgery nose.
I still do not know what will happen next. But I really want to say this to anyone thinking about cosmetic surgery. Before you do it, think it over 10 or 20 more times. Do not only think, “What do I dislike?” Also make sure you think about, “What do I not want to lose from my face right now?”
And if you are someone for whom naturalness matters more than making a big improvement, say very clearly in the consultation, “It is okay if the result is a little lacking, as long as it does not look like I had surgery.” I thought what I wanted was a clear change, but once my face actually changed a lot, I realized that what I wanted most was just the naturalness of my original face.
I am leaving this here because I am sure there are other people who only realize their true preference after seeing the result, like I did.