Hello ㅠ I happened to find this place, so I’m writing a post like this ㅠ
I’m on the subway going to school right now, and every morning is hard ㅠ
It was a surgery I wanted, and I had it at the end of December last year. The surgery went very well, and even my friends didn’t notice I had it done. At first, I was satisfied too. But as time goes by, it’s getting so hard ㅠ I don’t feel honest about myself. I had my eyes done before, and after some time I got my nose done, and I keep wondering why I did it ㅠ I feel like I’ve become what people commonly call a plastic-surgery monster ㅠㅠ
Today my bangs were a bit long, so I swept them to the side, and I felt like I looked like a plastic-surgery monster, so my heart dropped. My boyfriend says, “How are you a plastic-surgery monster?” but I feel that way so strongly. After doing my nose, it feels like the human quality in my face disappeared, and I look artificial ㅠ
About once a month, I seriously think about whether I should just take it out. But the reasons I haven’t removed it are: After getting my nose done, my forehead used to look sunken before, but now it doesn’t. I used to have wrinkles between my brows, and those are gone too.. Also, my face is on the larger side, but it makes my face look smaller too. My nostrils used to be wide, and that was improved too.. Before, looking in the mirror was so hard, and even when I wore pretty clothes, I felt like they didn’t suit me, and for many other reasons I wanted to do it. But these days it’s so hard ㅠ What should I do ㅠ I’m so conflicted ㅠ The surgery really did go well, and because I have some nasal ala on the sides, it doesn’t look that obvious either ㅠ
Because there were secondary improvements after surgery besides the nose, I decide that if there’s a problem later I’ll remove it, but then as time passes I become like this again ㅠ I keep thinking that even if I wasn’t pretty before, I liked having a distinctive face... I was too scared to even get a consultation ㅠ What should I do ㅠ
For reference, I don’t know in detail how the surgery was performed ㅠ But my original nose was kind of a big nose, and it had some height. The nasal tip was drooping, a long nose.. It was a bit masculine, the nose. Rather than wanting my nose higher, I wanted it to become smaller. So they said they did narrowing osteotomies, and to lift the long nose a bit they placed 4 mm silicone near the glabella. After surgery, I found out they had used ear cartilage. The support strut and the nasal tip are both hard.
Please give me advice ㅠㅠ
Now I think I should live like before without caring about what others think, and I’m also taking a philosophy class at school, so I wonder why I’ve lived caring about others until now.. But then I also worry whether I can do well...
When I see people on the street whose plastic surgery is too obvious, I get scared and wonder if I’ll look like that too.. I even feel disgusted. I tear up watching Back to My Face ㅠㅠ Then when I see Park Bom on variety shows, I wonder if that person is okay, whether she’s not having a hard time.. There’s something I want to do as a civil servant, and I also worry, what if they don’t pick me because I look too artificial.. It’s hard ㅠ Maybe it’s because my old phone broke and I can’t see my old photos ㅠㅠ I’m also thinking maybe I should fix my phone first and look at some old photos ㅠㅠ Sigh.. Please give me advice ㅠㅠ This got really long ㅠㅠ
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