I’m not blaming the hospital. I just want to look back at my past self once. Was it really a surgery I needed? Of course, it feels like just yesterday that I wanted to answer that I would do it even if I were born again, but now I don’t know anymore. Because of my very uneven, angular face shape, I was stressed for 20 years, and I had a lot of nicknames related to my jaw. But after the surgery, I was happy, and now it’s been about 4 months. Every day I look in the mirror checking whether sagging has come or not, keep taking anti-aging supplements, and even stand upside down to escape gravity even for a moment.. Anyway, that’s how I’ve been living. Did my happiness before and after surgery change? No, it didn’t. I keep looking in the mirror dozens of times to find another flaw, searching for a version of myself different from yesterday, and looking into all kinds of surgeries.
When I take photos, I get tense worrying that cheek sagging might come, and every day is just so hard. Before surgery, I struggled because my face looked ugly to me; after surgery, I’m scared that side effects might come. If you ask whether I want to go back to before surgery, I’ll answer that I don’t know. I really don’t know.. I like how I look now, but my mental state isn’t good... I just hope cheek sagging comes less. These days I just don’t want to live. If I had been born pretty, I wouldn’t have to have these worries.. Why am I living like this? I want to properly hear that I’m pretty. If I could go back to before facial contouring surgery, would I use that money for meridian massage? What answer would my past self give... I just want to go back to before facial contouring and think it over one more time.
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