Putting off jaw surgery until I saw my worn teeth..

Since childhood, because of my bad bite, I would get cut and bleed when my tongue was stabbed by my teeth, and whenever the area around my jaw felt stiff, I ended up with pointless habits like opening and closing my mouth for no reason. The discomfort was no small matter. I was too scared to even consider jaw surgery because of rumors about the operation and financial worries, and I couldn't even afford orthodontic treatment, so I spent my youth full of discomfort. The reason I ended up deciding on jaw surgery was, at first, my teeth. One day, while I was drifting through life after going through a huge loss, I was staring at the mirror gloomily and noticed that my teeth had worn down. Because I had not really paid attention to my teeth, I wondered if the wear had happened recently, so I went to the dentist and was told it was because of my bad bite. After that, I went to the orthodontic clinic my relatives always used to visit to get braces, but they said it was not a level that could be fixed with orthodontic treatment and recommended a university hospital or a plastic surgery clinic instead. Only then did I vaguely realize that I was ultimately destined to have jaw surgery. In the middle of all that, I came across a YouTube channel where the doctor spoke plainly and without any sweet-talking, and that was how I learned about the Y Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery and Dentistry Clinic. Compared with other posts and videos where so-called experts casually tossed out words that made people easy to sway, the doctor explained the reality, significance, and effects of jaw surgery in a very honest and clear-eyed way, and that made me trust him. When I actually went for a consultation, not only the doctor but all the staff were kind. I was especially grateful to the consultation manager, who moved my heart even when I was hesitating until the very end. So on April 6, I underwent jaw surgery and two types of contouring surgery, and it has been one month since then. <Before surgery> After fasting for a certain period, I packed the things I might need during hospitalization and brought them with me. There were all kinds of things, like a power strip, charger, and extra underwear. Honestly, I was so nervous that I even packed bulky things like a humidifier and went there with all of it. <Day of surgery> On the day of admission, I had to use a car, so I went to the clinic with my parents. Since the surgery was scheduled to happen right after admission, before the morning was over, I said a quick goodbye to my parents who had brought me there. At that moment, I really felt nothing at all. In fact, because I did not yet know how painful the immediate aftermath of surgery would be, I was probably even more fearless. As I lay on the bed and was wheeled into the operating room, I still remember what one very professional-looking nurse said right before giving me anesthesia: "When you wake up, it will be very hard for you." Then came the anesthesia spreading through my whole body... I lost consciousness in less than 10 seconds, and I opened my eyes again in less than 10 seconds.<After surgery> Right after surgery I felt very uncomfortable in a vague way, but because my mind was not fully intact, I did not really feel that it was hard at first. It was like being sleepy while someone kept bothering me to wake up. Then, at some point, bits and pieces of my identity gradually started coming back. Once my barely adequate intellect reached the edge of consciousness, I began to understand the situation. All over my face there were countless lines and tube-like things hanging everywhere. The pain itself was not extremely severe, but I was getting this very ambiguous pain all over my face, to the point that I could not possibly sleep comfortably. I could not move my body even a little, breathing felt suffocating, and I was overwhelmed by an indescribable fear because I could not understand what on earth had happened to my body, and I just wanted to pass out right there. But whenever I started to drift off to sleep, my family members who had come to visit, and the nurses, kept waking me up. They said I should not fall asleep before the anesthesia gas had fully worn off. In truth, I had not properly searched about jaw surgery because I thought that if I learned too much on YouTube I might get too scared to do it, so I had no idea what the first week after surgery, called the hell week, would be like. The machines kept beeping, the nurses tried hard to help me even when I was complaining about my discomfort until dawn, and I too tried not to lose my mind once the anesthesia gas started clearing in the early morning, but it was no joke. I really could not sleep, could not stay awake, could not be fully conscious, could not eat, could not drink, could not go to the bathroom, and could not breathe properly. At that moment, if only I could have escaped that moment, I honestly felt I would rather have gone through military enlistment again. At that time, if it had not been for the neck pillow, I really would have gone crazy. After surgery, because of various factors I could not lie down normally and had to spend time fixed in a sitting position. In my case, even with a donut cushion, my lower body was basically uncomfortable, so I did not feel much need for it, but without the neck pillow I would not have been able to sleep even for five or ten minutes, so it was that effective. From the second day, they removed the drainage tube-like thing that had been making my nose and mouth insanely uncomfortable, and they also removed the urinary catheter, so I could go to the bathroom. Once I was able to stand up, I felt a rush of relief, like I had at least escaped the state of being a half-dead body. Of course, it was still hard to endure because I still could not spit out phlegm, breathing was difficult, my posture was uncomfortable enough that I could not fully sink into sleep, and that slight pain was very distracting. That pain did not improve until the day of discharge, and even in the car home with my parents, I was writhing in pain and discomfort, only briefly easing my stress after finally drifting off to sleep. In fact, from the fourth day onward, I was able to forget the pain because I was looking at my swollen face. The facial expansion and distortion in appearance caused by swelling, something I had never experienced in my entire life, was honestly funny and astonishing, and it was the only comforting part of the difficult recovery period. And from that day on, I was able to sleep soundly for more than two hours without waking, and being able to drink at least water or drinks like New Care through a syringe, after not being able to drink at all, made me feel like I could survive. Of course, I missed the act of chewing and swallowing food, which I had naturally taken for granted when my condition was normal, and I got hungry because of it, which made me very irritable. I also worried whether this swelling and pain would ever go away. Still, whenever my mind got cluttered, I could crawl into a car seat, put on the neck pillow, and sleep, so I felt proud of myself for managing my stress a little even in the worst situation. On the day that marked exactly the beginning of the second week after surgery, the runny nose that had tormented me horribly, just as the hospital had warned, subsided like a lie, and breathing was no longer as hard as before. From then on, it was a war with tasteless porridge and drinks like New Care, and days filled with struggles to stay productive during my leave while not feeling fully well, which went on in a dull stretch. Naturally, the swelling was still quite severe even as I moved from the second to the third week, so I could not meet acquaintances, and I spent the time wearing a mask while diligently walking and doing hot compresses. <One month> Finally, it has been more than a month since the surgery. Eating is still uncomfortable, and because I have not had enough training, I still cannot open my mouth very well, but as my condition improves week by week, I am enjoying new happiness in daily life and living happily. At first, I mainly wanted to improve my habits and solve my tooth problems, so I had not expected any cosmetic effect at all, but hearing people around me say that my face looks smaller, that my nose looks bigger, or that I look younger was nice. I had already guessed as much from the doctors' work I had seen on YouTube, but their skill was truly excellent. And the teamwork of the hospital staff was amazing and very good as well. Of course, it is only one month in, and orthodontic treatment has also started, so there are a few more hurdles ahead, but I plan to keep holding on while watching my face get better day by day.