Second revision surgery.. I have a good feeling this time!

This time.. already.. it's my 3rd eye surgery.. For almost a year and a half.. it was so hard and painful.. Because it was my 3rd eye surgery.. my parents were upset too.. my relationships became difficult.. and during that time I couldn't do anything Still.. the result seems good, so I'm at least relieved.. but somehow.. I feel sad for no reason.. At first, I didn't know anything. Since all my friends were getting surgery.. I thought it was good too and got eye surgery... I begged my parents so much.. My mom also said that these days eye surgery isn't even considered plastic surgery, and since all my friends were doing it too.. she gave permission pretty quickly..!! After the surgery.. at first your eyes swell a lot, you know.. there was slight bruising too.. Even after about a week like that, the swelling wasn't going down well.. And after a long while, when the swelling went down.. sausage eyelids.. I never thought that would be me.. While getting eye surgery.. I had heard that if it goes wrong.. thick sausage-like eyelids can form and not disappear.. I never thought that would be me.. I really felt like the sky was falling.. At first, I seriously wanted to blow up the hospital that operated on me.. If doing it recklessly at such a cheap price was my fault, then it was my fault... I really cried my eyes out.. My eyes were always swollen.. I barely went to school.. I think I really almost never went outside the house.. And.. after about 3 months like that.. I guess my family thought this couldn't go on, so they told me to get revision surgery.. so I did. Since it was revision surgery, I got consultations at places that anyone would know just by hearing the name.. and because I wanted to get it over with quickly, on the day I went for the consultation.. I booked it right away.. and had surgery 3 days later. It was a really big hospital.. a famous place.. and the price was expensive too.. so of course I expected a good result.. The sausage eyelids went away.. but this time.. the scarring along the line.. was severe.. At first, everyone around me told me to wait until the swelling went down.. to wait a little longer.. so I waited little by little, but.. there was no sign that the scars would disappear.. I went to the hospital and complained.. asking what this scar was.. But what they said was.. it was because it was revision surgery..? Then they should have told me that from the beginning.. What is this.. Being powerless is the sin So.. time passed again.. and when it had been almost a year.. I got revision surgery again.. Still, after the sausage eyelids went away, I had been covering the scars with makeup...!! With the money I saved during that time,.. I got revision surgery again.. I had it in January.. and now most of the swelling has really gone down.. It isn't exactly as much as I had hoped for, but.. I think my eyes are at least good enough that I can go around without heavy makeup As I go through revision surgeries.. I guess my greed is disappearing little by little Still, I'm trying to love the version of myself that has at least improved a lot now Still, still.. I'm giving myself the ridiculous comfort that it turned out well after only 2 revision surgeries!! Sigh.... Still, really, this is something.. If there are people considering revision surgery.. please really, really look into it a lot.. and decide carefully!