I’m going to get a removal consultation after Lunar New Year..

I had nose surgery after finishing my first year of university, so I did it at 21, and now I’m freshly 24. This may be a bit long, but if you could read it as the story of a close younger sister, older sister, or noona... I’d be grateful. lol I found out about this community about a year after surgery? Even though I’ve always thought about removal, I’m afraid of the “third nose” I’ve seen so many others write about, and I’m even more afraid of the way people who have called me pretty until now will look at me. I kept postponing removal again and again because I was scared a situation I couldn’t handle might come. I wrote countless times in my diary that the world looks the way I set my mind and that I should become a positive person, but I think I couldn’t help becoming endlessly anxious and withdrawn. It’s not like I’m Pinocchio, but as the years go by it just gets pointier and pointier, and my nasal bridge is high, while my nostrils look like they’re doing their own thing.. It may sound hypocritical, but I’m confessing this because I want to be endlessly honest and communicate with others in the same situation: men didn’t realize I had surgery.. So I went around pretending I hadn’t. That doesn’t mean I belittled other people’s appearances or acted like I was the best, truly.. (On the internet, people talk about people who had surgery this way, but reading posts here, I really don’t think there are people like that..) At first I felt guilty and said I had done it, but after I found out people talked behind my back as if I had redone my whole face, I stopped saying it. People who haven’t had surgery, or people who had it and were confident about it, may say I’m rationalizing.. But the fact that I did this must have been because there was something about myself I couldn’t be proud of. Originally I was an outgoing person who lived without any worries, but after doing it, I became full of worries, hated getting attention, hated taking photos, hated being told I was pretty, and now I hate everything. Even if it’s a bit lower, I’m going back to what is mine. So what if my nose is a little low? The reason I haven’t dated even at this age is that I lack confidence in myself. I’m going to trust the doctor and leave it in their hands. Let’s all think only positive thoughts. I realized something, and it’s so obvious, but let’s not worry in advance. What we can do is find a good doctor and take good care after removal. It’s not contracture, inflammation, or the shape that hasn’t even arrived yet. The more I think those thoughts, the more depressed I seem to become. Starting tomorrow, I’m going to do everything I can to search lol These days I feel healed while cleaning, so tomorrow I’m really going to do a deep clean, go to an exhibition, and eat delicious pasta. Everyone, stay strong, aja aja!! Blessings to everyone who read this long, long story lol