I had always been extremely stressed about having small eyes. My mother naturally has large eyes with double eyelids, but I took after my father and had tiny, bean-like eyes -.- Ever since I was little, my wish was to hear someone say just once that my eyes were big.
Around age 20, I was told that the strength to open my eyes was weak, and I was recommended ptosis correction, so I had my first surgery. The crease was made very thin and natural, so it barely looked like I had surgery; if I did not mention it, people could not even tell. But as time passed, the correction seemed to loosen, and my eyes really began to look increasingly sleepy.
About six years later, after I started earning money from a part-time job, I gradually began wanting to make my eyes bigger again lol. I searched around quite diligently and visited two clinics.
At the first clinic, when I said, “I want bigger eyes,” they suggested opening all four corners widely and setting a crease. But while looking up reviews of that clinic, I saw some bad cases, and I was also a little afraid of opening all four corners, so I ultimately decided not to have surgery.
Then there was the second clinic. Looking back, I do not know why I decided so quickly lol. I think I only had a consultation with the coordinator and made a reservation. I seem to remember being told that I would consult the doctor on the day of surgery, but it was eight years ago, so please understand that I do not remember everything exactly T_T
Anyway, after setting the surgery date and waiting, perhaps about two weeks before surgery, the coordinator suddenly called. She said the doctor I had originally planned to see was going to the United States and asked whether it would be okay to have surgery with another doctor. I remember being told that this doctor mainly performed nose surgery.
Looking back, I should have reconsidered at that point, but I must have been under some spell because I said, “It will probably turn out fine,” and agreed.
On the day of surgery, I went to the clinic. Before entering the operating room, I consulted with the doctor, who said I needed ptosis correction again. I think the method was double-line excision. The doctor explained that skin would be removed along the upper and lower edges of the existing crease, which would also eliminate the slight scar-like remnant of the current line.
I said I understood. Then I suddenly became curious and asked, “By the way, what is good about an upper canthoplasty?” The doctor said it would make the line near the inner corners more visible, so I said, “Then I want upper canthoplasty too.” lololololol
The surgery involved sedation and local anesthesia, with me being awakened briefly during the procedure. I think it was because, for ptosis correction, they needed me to sit up and check whether I could open my eyes. I do not remember exactly, but I think they put me back to sleep about twice.
At the end, when I came out after surgery, the coordinator supported me and led me out. But when I looked in the mirror... my eyes were wide open, as if they had been forcibly pried open with an eyelid retractor. At the time, I did not even know this was wrong, and I was happy, saying, “Wow, my eyes got bigger.” lol
At first, because the crease was so dark, I waited, thinking, “It will gradually settle as time passes~” Three months. Six months. One year. ...?
Suddenly I started getting angry. I wondered whether this could really be normal. The correction must have been extremely strong; the mucous membrane below my eyelashes was everted. My eyes were so tired that my whole body felt tired too, and it even seemed as though I could not close my eyes properly. Every day was stressful because of my eyes.
Eventually, around a year and a half later—or perhaps just before a year and a half; I do not remember exactly—I felt I could not go on, made a consultation appointment, and returned to the clinic. I do not remember what the coordinator said because it was so long ago, but I still remember what the doctor said.
I said, “My eyelashes are lifted too much and my eyes look like sausages.” The doctor replied, “They are not sausages.” When I asked, “What about the mucous membrane being lifted so much?” the doctor said, “If the lifted mucous membrane bothers you, get eyeliner tattooing.” I almost burst into tears then, but held them back. Inside, I thought, “Ah, even if I have revision surgery here, another problem could arise.” I decided never to return to that clinic, simply said okay, and left.
That was how I ended up living with eyes that looked as though the stitches had just been removed. lololololol It is funny when I think about it now, but it was absolutely not funny then.
I continued thinking that I needed to have it done again. But the second surgery had already turned out like this, and a third surgery would be next, right? The fact that the second one failed did not mean the third could not fail too. I was scared, so I kept searching only for plastic-surgery clinics. I looked up reviews, searched for clinics, and searched again and again.
Then, last year, I finally made up my mind and began researching seriously. I focused on clinics that performed many revision surgeries and made a consultation appointment at one that seemed trustworthy. I had heard that even getting an appointment was difficult, so I nearly gave up, but luckily I managed to book one and went for the consultation.
When the doctor saw my eyes, they seemed somewhat troubled lololol. It looked like they were thinking, “How did someone make eyes like this...” or something like that lololol. Even so, the doctor personally drew the current condition of my crease on the chart and explained everything one by one.
Unexpectedly, the doctor said the surgery itself would be simple. The excessively corrected parts could be released, but because a great deal of eyelid skin had already been removed, they would have to operate directly to see how much correction was possible.
Rather than telling me only what I wanted to hear, the doctor calmly explained what was possible and what would be difficult given the current condition of my eyes, which made me trust the doctor more.
After the consultation, I spoke with the coordinator again. I was told that they did not use sedation and used only local anesthesia, and the cost was explained. They also said they operated on only two people a day, exactly one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
What I liked most was that they did not pressure me to pay a deposit and schedule surgery immediately. At the plastic-surgery clinics I had visited before, coordinators often talked a lot after the consultation to get me to pay a deposit, but here I felt they were simply telling me to think it over carefully and decide.
They said, “If you think it over and want surgery, call us to choose a date.” That actually made me trust them more.
After a great deal of deliberation, I finally had my third eye surgery in January.
And the result now? I cannot say it has become 100% perfect. But the doctor had explained this sufficiently before surgery, and since so much skin had already been removed during the previous surgery, there was inevitably a certain limit T_T
Even so, I am 99% satisfied with the result now. First, the feeling that my eyes were unnaturally forced wide open, as before, is gone, and the problems that had caused me the most stress have improved tremendously.
Most importantly, I had lived with eye-related stress for nearly ten years, and only now do I feel able to look in the mirror with some peace of mind.
When I had my first surgery, I truly never imagined that I would undergo surgery this many times. So if anyone like me is considering revision or a second revision, I hope you will research many clinics, visit several consultations, and not decide in a hurry.
I still wonder what might have happened if I had been just a little more careful before my second surgery. Of course, I hope you understand that I am not trying to blame or criticize the clinic where I had the second surgery. It was a clinic reputed to be good, but I think perhaps the doctor and I were not a good match at that time, or something like that happened.
Anyway, after my long eye-surgery journey, I feel I have finally found a place to settle lolol. For now, I am going to live while being satisfied with the result!!
Thank you for reading this long post. As for the clinic information and cost, when I was researching and comparing clinics, there was so little information and so few reviews, so I asked the doctor on the day my stitches were removed whether I could include everything in my review, and then posted it!! I hope it helps people who are stressed and deliberating like I was. If you have anything else you are curious about, leave a comment!!