Revision rhinoplasty.. severe depression Please be careful about this above all!

Ha.... I have always been very interested in my appearance, looked in the mirror often, heard compliments on my looks often, and lived pretty satisfied with myself. About 12 years ago, I had my first nose surgery, naturally and simply on the bridge and tip, and lived satisfied. After the swelling kept going down, I felt the glabella area was a bit lacking, so I got filler little by little. Then it looked a little spread out, so I dissolved it. After it looked wide, I thought about putting filler in again, but I was worried it would keep building up and cause side effects, so I decided to just get revision surgery. I trusted the hospital where I had my first surgery and asked them to make only a slight corrective change, naturally, without changing my image, but... after the splint came off, even considering it was revision rhinoplasty, it was swollen in such a bizarre way that I couldn’t shake my anxiety. They said it was all swelling and would be okay with time, but even after looking at countless rhinoplasty review photos, it was hard to find a shape like mine, so even more fear rushed in. Still, I comforted and hypnotized myself, thinking, “This is a hospital famous by word of mouth, would they really have made it weird?” and believed it was swelling, so for 3 weeks I went on walks diligently. After that, as the swelling went down and the line started to show a little, I became convinced that something had gone wrong. Originally I did not have a beoseon-style nose or a long nose, but the nose came down straight like a man’s nose, the tip looked like it had been extended and was long, and the starting point of the nose was set above the glabella. The tip had been touched in so many ways, especially maybe because of nostril lowering, that it became a completely blunt, bulbous nose, and the nostrils looked angular.. It was not a matter of pretty or not. After confirming that something with completely mismatched proportions, so unnatural and like a long horse-like nose, was sitting in the center of my face, I cried as if my life was over and felt despair. I clung to my mom and sobbed, and I absolutely did not want to show my husband, so I have been covering it with a mask for a month. I endured and endured, then went to see the director. They said it was higher than before and the starting point had been raised a little, so it could look longer compared with before. I said I don’t even care about being pretty, I just want to get away from this strange nose and remove everything, but they said there was a risk of side effects and that I was still very swollen, so we ended by talking about checking after 6 months and correcting it then.. But enduring that period and getting through each day feels like hell. I used to think my previous nose was pretty and lived well with it, but seeing my reality after trying to make it just a little more perfect and completely ruining it.. I blame myself so much, and every time I see this strange nose I cannot get used to while washing my face, my heart collapses and I feel like something will go wrong with my body.. Before this, I had never even gone near communities or apps related to cosmetic surgery side effects, but after becoming the person involved and coming here and there, ha.. I didn’t know there were this many side effects. I see people in pain like me too, and having to wait not 60 days but 6 months feels like 6 years. Of course, as the swelling goes down, the bizarre long look may lessen compared with now, and the nasal tip becoming bulbous and shapeless may also improve, but... because of one nose, my old face is gone, and maybe because of swelling my philtrum also looks long. Facing someone who does not feel like me is so hard that I fall asleep little by little suppressing unbearable anger and resentment. I have no daily life, and I don’t even think about eating out. My own lack of caution and my choice have changed even my life. If only I could go back to my old nose, I would want to spend even 100 million won to turn it back, and even if I remove everything after 6 months, I am filled during all waking hours with fear that I won’t be able to go back and with negative thoughts. I can’t really accept that these things happened to me. It is so hard to accept and handle this face that it is a continuous cycle of frustration, despair, and depression. Because I have children and a husband, they tell me to stay strong, that revision surgery can make it better, and not to cry as if my life is over.. I lived thinking my mental strength was strong, but after my face was ruined like this, my mental state had already left me long ago.. I can’t tell acquaintances either. I don’t want to hear people saying I pointlessly touched a pretty face and got side effects or whatever, sigh In just 2 weeks, from extreme stress, I got gray hairs, dark circles, even skin allergies... These days I’m painfully realizing that the mind controls the body too. To anyone thinking about nose surgery, please be careful. Especially nostril lowering makes the nose look very blunt and dull. Please also be careful with columellar struts and columella lowering. The sensation in my philtrum and upper lip feels unnatural, and I’m worried this may not return 100% either... If I could turn back time, I would want to do whatever it takes.. but I can’t, right.. I can only desperately hope it can be reconstructed as close as possible to my old nose. If correcting it here still looks strange, I guess I will have to look into another revision surgery... Once the trauma happened, even the thought of getting on the operating table unconscious now brings a huge wave of fear. Until I can recover even a little, I need to hold myself together, endure, and be patient, but I can’t focus on anything, so each day feels as long as a year. I have lived with the mindset of not harming others and being generous, so now that this has happened, I feel so wronged and sad.. Still, coming here and reading posts from members in similar situations has comforted me.. I really hope you correct only what is truly a complex for you, seriously consider the side effects that can come afterward, and then decide~. Also, I am trying not to expose the hospital, so please refrain from asking questions about it.. Looking at it, I guess cosmetic surgery also requires luck.. I was satisfied the first time too.. and the second time does not necessarily go well. Since doctors are not gods, they can make mistakes, but doing things at their own discretion is really It makes me so angry. To those going through similar hardship.. I hope we can endure well together until recovery. Thank you for reading this long post. Real members who have had revision rhinoplasty, please recommend places that do a slim, small, compact, natural-looking nasal tip well. I’m having such a hard time mentally, so brokers, please refrain from commenting.. I am desperate, so if you have real information, please share. Thank you in advance.