I was in the middle of changing my mindset to a more positive one because of the replies and private messages everyone left me, but today my younger brother, who is a soldier, saw me for the first time. As soon as he saw me, he burst out laughing, saying I looked so funny and asking why my face had become like that. I answered with a laugh that it would be fine once the swelling went down, but then I locked my room door and cried. It’s been over 3 weeks, so honestly the swelling has almost all gone down. Even when I look at it, there isn’t really anywhere left to go down, and my nasal tip is so fat that my brother asked why my nose was protruding like that. Right now I even think about having it removed. I don’t even know how many times a day I go back and forth like a crazy woman, comforting myself and then getting depressed. Looking into hospitals before surgery is important, but I guess you also need to think in advance about what mindset to have if you don’t like the result. I thought everything would be rosy once I had surgery, but I’m so depressed after surgery. The price feels too high. If I had known the aftereffects would be this big, I wouldn’t have done it. ....
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