During the day, I went to the clinic, had the medicine applied again, and even came home smiling, but.. my friends texted, “Did you get surgery?” Shouldn’t they ask whether I’m hurting first.. Even when I say I’m hurting and talk about my worries because of the swelling, they say, “It’s okay, you’re going to get prettier. I want to get this and that done too.” I don’t know if they want to see me or if they want to see my operated eyes, and it even feels like they’re anxious that I might become prettier.. They might just be words I’d normally let pass, but I feel so, so hurt. A little while ago, I talked on the phone with my boyfriend too, and he said, “Are you a bit better?” It felt like he was talking about someone else, and like he was tired of listening to my story, so I just started crying. I’m still so depressed right now. I don’t have any thoughts about the surgery at all, I’m just feeling down.. Right now I don’t have any thoughts about becoming prettier or reducing swelling... I’m just extremely depressed and only tears keep coming. Why am I like this?? Even now, I’m writing this while barely holding back my tears.
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