I don't want to live.. Please help me...

I am a man in my early twenties living in Gwangju My personality was usually masculine, and my appearance was also very masculine too.. Maybe because of that, my relationships with friends were always good and although I wasn't the kind of person who was popular with girlfriends, I was living reasonably satisfied Of course, I had a girlfriend too.. But as I got older year by year, my eyes began to droop I have an older sister, and she said my eyes looked too fierce and asked how it would be to try double eyelid surgery Honestly, even to me, my eyes being slanted unevenly was a complex To the point that my nickname was.. eagle eyes... Then I listened to my sister's suggestion and got double eyelid surgery and epicanthoplasty using the buried suture method... But somehow, before even 3 months had passed, the eyes came undone I thought, I guess there's nothing I can do But The scars from the epicanthoplasty remained horribly and clearly, as if someone had deliberately cut them with a knife, and even more frighteningly, they gave the impression that I had self-harmed The conclusion is... My girlfriend left me, and my friends laughed at me, saying what kind of man gets double eyelids, then one by one they cut off contact.. Literally, I became alone After that, for 1 year, I spent a year alone in my room drinking and my parents must have felt sorry for me, because they paid for revision surgery Other people seem to say they're scared or it hurts when they have surgery, but I .... didn't make any sound at all during surgery and only quietly shed tears... Sadly, the hospital where I had revision surgery was the same hospital as the first surgery, and maybe because the doctor felt sorry, he couldn't look properly at my face.. I regret it... I thought it was nothing and did it, but for it to bring this kind of result.. Now my double eyelid eyes look unnatural, and the epicanthoplasty is still horrifying... Even just a little... no... tears are coming again.. Please... Now I want to quit drinking too... and walk around confidently where there are people. I haven't even been able to go to the neighborhood supermarket since the surgery, because it feels like everything looking at me is laughing at me and watching me like an animal... I want to get back my eyes that took everything away from me Please, if you know a good hospital in Gwangju or anywhere else, let me know Really... I want to live like a person now... Thank you for reading this long post...