At last, I went ahead with the nose surgery I’d been so determined about. After agonizing over it for a long time and even putting down the deposit, I thought about just canceling, but I’d wanted this nose surgery for so long that I figured I’d regret it later if I didn’t do it, so I lay down on the operating table gracefully and pretty confidently. I was lying there getting IV fluids and sedation anesthesia and thought, I really have lost my mind. And then I really did fall asleep, and when I woke up more than 2 hours had passed. They said there was a lot of bleeding, so it had been a difficult surgery. My nasal bones were a little wide, so they performed osteotomy and only worked on the tip of my nose. The surgery itself wasn’t hard, but I had surgery early in the morning and came home, and I kept vomiting, which was so hard. I think it was probably because of the anesthesia, but I kept vomiting some blood and some black-looking fluid, and before long I was getting dizzy again and again.. Anyway, the first day was miserable and I couldn’t even take my medicine because I kept throwing up.. On the first day I at least looked normal, but on the second day I was so swollen it was scary to look in the mirror. I told myself, ‘They say the second day is usually the worst...’ to comfort myself, but on the third day my whole face was even more swollen. I ended up removing every mirror in my room. Then I really worked hard to drink pumpkin juice and eat pumpkin porridge, and day by day... I waited for today, when the stitches and bandages would come off. Coming here helped me realize I wasn’t the only one having a hard time. The swelling really went down day by day. Yesterday I gave up because it was too hard to sleep sitting up, and slept lying down instead, but finally I looked human again, so I felt really pleased by myself. Today I went to the hospital and they took off the bandages and removed the stitches, and I really felt tears welling up. My nose was never that low to begin with, so I thought people wouldn’t recognize me with this much change... but everyone recognized me right away ㅡㅡ;; What’s even sadder is that.. my mom and my boyfriend also said the old nose looked better. I kept insisting that wasn’t true, and my boyfriend also seemed a little disappointed in me. When I came home today and was wiping off the makeup I’d used to cover the bruising, I looked in the mirror and tears spilled out all at once, tears I hadn’t shed even while vomiting so hard. I couldn’t believe how unfamiliar I looked in the mirror... My nose had become longer, and something felt off. It didn’t seem balanced.. that kind of feeling. Before, it was at least a cute-looking nose... Now it’s just a long straight nose with no shape at all. Because of vanity.. I somehow thought that if I just fixed this nose, I’d become beautiful and happy... but I’m not happy at all, and I’m not pretty either. I was in so much pain that I can’t even think about revision surgery, and of course I can’t undo the osteotomy now.. And I don’t have the money for that either. ㅠㅠ I really couldn’t understand when other people said they regretted having surgery here and wanted to remove it again... but now I understand. Even when I heard other people’s stories about failed surgery and dissatisfaction after surgery, I was so full of hope that I thought nothing like that would ever happen to me... So if you’re considering surgery now, please think very carefully. I thought I had researched a lot and thought it through a lot too... but I wish I had been more careful.. I ended up doing something I can never take back for the rest of my life. I’ve gotten a lot of help here too, so I wanted to help others even a little bit as well.
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