I had it done last Monday morning, the 23rd, about a week ago.. so today makes exactly 7 days... My current condition is fine, and I’m going to the hospital today... I think they’ll probably remove the stitches..^^ They say the swelling goes down a lot after the stitches are removed, right? Haha Anyway, to skip ahead... First, Sunday the 22nd.. I thought that once tomorrow came, I wouldn’t be able to eat anything I wanted for about 20 days. I really like snacks.... So I bought and ate all sorts of things... The hospital told me not to eat after 10 p.m., so I only stopped eating after 10, and before that I bought a lot of ice cream, chips, and so on and ate them. Stuffing it all down.. But... who knew this would become the trigger,..... boom Monday the 23rd They told me to come by 10 in the morning, so I got ready and withdrew money (I prepared half of it, and I had already paid a quarter when I got Botox before) and arrived around 10:15... I went alone... My mom knows, but I didn’t want her to be shocked after surgery...ㅋ I’m pretty brave, after all But don’t go alone... it’s really nerve-racking, scary, and anxiety-inducing. (Especially after surgery!) While changing into the patient gown... it was honestly terrifying... I thought, should I just act? Or should I just run out??? After unpacking everything in the private room, putting on the patient gown and slippers, I met with the doctor... it was just photos and that was it...^^ One thing I wanted to say before that... definite front-view effect. No need for the angle under the ear, show me the bone later, please do the cortex too... and so on... I had a lot to say, but I couldn’t get a single word out. No, I just couldn’t think of anything. Then off to the operating room... Ah, just thinking about it now makes me shake... They told me to go up and lie down on my own feet... honestly, I could have run out a hundred times in that moment, but my body lay down as if possessed. When people are scared and anxious, I guess all they can do is laugh. I told the anesthesiologist, “Please take good care of me,” while giggling, and asked if anyone ever wakes up during surgery, and they said no. That was a relief.. that was my biggest worry... Then they attached something to my chest and I could hear my heartbeat. Then they put a needle into my left arm... it really hurt... that was probably the worst pain... Even in that situation I kept babbling, and maybe they got annoyed, because they said, “Let’s just put the medication in.” So coldly... I knew what that medication was by feeling. Ah... once that goes in, there’s no going back....!! At that moment something cool started flowing up along my veins. “Ah... my arm feels cool~” And when that coolness, or chill, reached my upper arm... my mind went blurry.... memory loss.... During or after surgery Ugh~ something spilled out of my mouth...(same feeling as vomiting while lying down drunk... blurry mind) Doctor: You didn’t fast~? Blurry again... After surgery Sound effect: my heartbeat, thump~thump~thump I was alone in that huge operating room. My face hurt so much I couldn’t even describe it, like it was being crushed... I couldn’t move my body however I wanted, and they covered me with a blanket because they thought I’d be cold, but it was heavy and annoying, and when I was maximally irritated, everything bothersome or that feeling of helplessness, or sleep paralysis?.. it wrapped around my whole body... I thought maybe if I cried I’d feel better, but no tears came out... The fear of being alone... the anxiety... I think that was the biggest thing... In my mouth I think I said, “Hello? Is no one there?” but I’m not even sure those words actually came out... On the other side of the operating room, I could hear laughter like people were eating snacks, haha, and it was really nothing, but it annoyed me. Every time I breathed, gas came out and I felt dizzy... As if it heard my silent plea for help, a nurse came in Nurse: Is your stomach okay? While trying to help me up, automatically, ugh... and then she laid me back down again. I wanted to say, I hate this operating room, please move me to the ward... but I couldn’t speak. Then the nurse handed me a small bell and told me to press it. Ah... I held onto it like it was my life because I was afraid I’d drop it. Then the nurse whoosh~ left again Still, the relief of knowing I was not dead started to come over me.. Using my heartbeat like a lullaby, I drifted back into a daze.. Ah... it’s time to go to the hospital... next time..^^
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