I posted yesterday, and after going to the hospital today, I’m posting again.. After seeing my mom so upset yesterday, I woke up early this morning. The hospital opens from 9:30, but I arrived 30 minutes early. I waited for about 1 hour and then saw the doctor,, I told him I wanted to go back to my original nose shape. The doctor is so kind and such a good person, so I tried not to hurt his feelings,, I told him the nose shape is pretty, but my family is opposing it so strongly that I’m in a situation where I need to remove the implant as soon as possible. He seemed a little flustered by what I said.ㅠ He asked why I wanted to remove it when it hasn’t even been a month yet, and compared it to a frog, saying it’s like a tadpole that has only just barely grown two legs.. He said it’s natural that my parents think I look strange right now. Even to him, I look strange right now,, and at this point that’s unavoidable and natural,, Still, after talking with my mom yesterday, the thought that this is not right had become so firmly fixed in my mind, so I said I really wanted to restore it to the original state. But, even if revision surgery takes 6 months, I thought removing the implant could be done right away?! From posts I saw in this community, people said removing an implant like mine could be done immediately, so I thought I would do it today and even skipped breakfast and went really early,,ㅠ But the doctor said, if, while the inside of my nose is red and not healed like now, they cut it open again and remove it, not only would it not heal properly, but some phenomenon... what was it,,, the doctor said the name of some phenomenon but I forgot.ㅠ Anyway, I remember it was something about the nasal tip drooping ㅠ In any case, he said if we do it now, it will 100% turn out strange. If that happens, he said he couldn’t take responsibility either. He told me to wait at least 3 months, even at the earliest. He said it’s only safe after roughly 6 months, and only around then would it be possible to restore it the way I want. Sigh,,,,,, my heart dropped,, at the unexpected answer,, If I go home today, how am I supposed to tell my mom,, When I left this morning saying I was going to the hospital, my mom thought I’d be coming back after removing it today. My dad still doesn’t know, so she told me to say I have a cold for the time being and wear a mask even at home,,, That’s what she said. While listening to the doctor, I just felt sorry to my mom.ㅠ The money I worked hard at part-time jobs to earn wasn’t just a small amount, but I threw away the money, ruined my nose,,, and now I miss my original nose, and if I could wish for one thing now, it would just be for my old nose shape to come back. Seeing myself like that made me look so immature,, How am I supposed to get through 3 months at the shortest, 6 months at the longest,, Honestly, it feels hopeless,, I’m just rationalizing it now. No matter who I blame for what I did, nothing will change. Until summer break, I’m going to prepare for the TOEIC test, study hard for school exams,, exercise too,, that’s what I’ll do. Even though I caused this mess,, I couldn’t just stay discouraged because I felt I’d look too pathetic to myself,, I’m thinking it’s for the best,. I feel like I got harshly taught a lesson. Myself.. Before surgery, I cared about outward appearance, dressed up and went out to play all the time,, that’s how I was. Studying was pushed aside, my life was pushed aside,, I’m thinking of this as an opportunity.. I should just prepare for employment. I’m going to stop focusing on decorating my outward appearance and cultivate and improve my inner self. After causing trouble and getting harshly taught a lesson, maybe I’ve matured a bit., I’m calm,, just,, Sigh,, this spring I wanted to transform beautifully and appear in front of my friends like ta-da~,, Why does everything keep getting tangled,,,, I’m upset,, but I also think it’s for the best,, Oh right,,!! I asked the doctor how the tied nasal tip could go back to its original shape, and he said if they inject the area that was pinched together, it can be made round like my old nose. I thought since it was tied, it could just be untied.ㅠ But he said, how should I put it, they would use an injection to make the nasal tip round and plump,, anyway, he said something like that, so I felt a bit suspicious. It felt like,,, Botox,,, like I’d have to keep getting it,, that sort of thing,, It’s okay to trust what the doctor said, right,,?! At home right now, I’m walking around wearing glasses that cover half my face,, I apparently look like a model student,,,,,ㅠ When I came home today, my dad opened the door, and after seeing my face on the intercom, “Who is it?” ‘Hul,,,,-,.-;;;’ He didn’t recognize his daughter’s face. Of course ㅠ Because I was wearing model-student glasses covering half my face,,ㅠ Sigh,
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