Second month after surgery.. an extremely long review..^^

I had it done in early March, so it’s not even been two months yet.. Right after the surgery, I felt like a cyborg.. and I also felt a lot of resistance, so I even got depressed.. But many people comforted me.. and just like someone told me, time really is the best medicine.. I’m feeling much better now... But even these days, every time I massage, I still feel strangely down? I guess there’s nothing I can do about that~~ㅠ During the first month, I still massaged diligently.. but now;; I do it once or twice a day?; maybe, maybe not; like that. I know I shouldn’t be doing this ㅠ They said I had to do it faithfully six times a day~~ At first, every time I massaged, it stung a little and it felt like the pocket was bursting, but these days I don’t feel anything at all.. Still, I don’t feel like the pocket is getting smaller.. They say there can be a tightening feeling starting in the third month, so I guess I’ll have to work hard again then..? Right now, the lower fold doesn’t quite match.. They said to correct it I’d have to wear a band to sleep.. but it feels so suffocating and uncomfortable that I can’t sleep with it on.. The right pocket sits a little lower too.. Maybe that’s why, when I bend over, there’s a slight double-line effect. I can’t really tell when I’m standing... As for touch.. my boyfriend touched it and said he couldn’t tell~ ㅋ When I’m sitting, it feels soft and fine to me too, but when I lie down..ㅠㅠ When I lie down.......ㅠ ㅠ Does this get better? When I’m lying down... the shape really does spread out like a real breast.. But when it’s pressed.. the feel.......... I can feel the implant too.. and when I lift it up and down.. unless someone already has quite a bit of breast tissue, I think it would be noticeable by touch~ The most comfortable part is.. being able to live without wearing a bra.. Before, because I had no breasts ㅠㅠ even if I just went to the supermarket in front of my house, I had to wear a padded bra.. but now I just put on a boxy T-shirt and go out.. ㅋㅋ so comfortable~ The uncomfortable part is, of course, sleeping... I used to always sleep on my side.. but now I have to sleep flat on my back... They said if I sleep on my side, the breast shape could get distorted... Still, when I wake up, I’m usually sleeping on my side anyway. Habits are scary. Um.. if I could turn back time a bit.. on the day of surgery................ I couldn’t sleep at all the night before, and I went to the hospital an hour earlier than the time they told me to come, waiting and shivering in front of a hospital that hadn’t even opened yet; Before surgery, in the consultation room, the director designed it... Because I had asymmetrical breasts, they said I needed 200/225, but when I said I wanted to go a bit bigger (because I wanted a full B cup;), they said they would aim for a B cup, but based on my body condition, the maximum that could go in was 225/250. Since I had a sunken chest (the breasts naturally come together even when I’m just sitting still), if they put in more than that, the breasts would stick together in the middle; they said that would look unnatural.. Anyway, that’s why even now I’m not doing any banding or massage that pulls the breasts together... so that’s comfortable too... My cleavage formed on its own.. I’m 161 cm and 42 kg.. and my ribcage was about 68 to 69. My breasts had plenty of room left in an A cup.. Anyway.. in the room, I was waiting with an IV in my arm and nutrients being infused.. But the room was.. right next to the operating room.. I could hear the sounds of the person before me having surgery.. -_- It was so quiet.. I thought, have I not gone into surgery yet? Or am I just in prep? I was thinking that.. but apparently it was already finished, because a nurse came and took me away... So I went into the operating room... The operating room was quite big.. and I remember there being two operating tables.. On the other side of the curtain partition, just as the surgery of the person who had gone in before me was ending.. (of course I couldn’t see, just guessed from the sounds;) Two or three nurses fixed? me onto the operating table, and the anesthesiologist said, "The anesthesia medicine is going in, count to ten"... and with a totally dizzy feeling I counted to three and lost consciousness.. my eyelids were trembling rapidly... When I came to, I was back in the room where I had lain down before surgery getting IV fluids.. with a compression bandage that felt as if my chest had been fixed in plaster -_- extremely tight, pressed down, and suffocating.. For about an hour, the anesthesia hadn’t fully worn off, so I managed to endure it, but after that it became so painful that I kept loosening it myself -_-; A nurse would come, tighten it again, and after holding out for a bit I’d loosen it again, and again; loosen it and then rewrap it loosely; Then the nurse said something scary.. If you keep doing this, you might have to go back into the operating room tomorrow! ㅠ ㅠ That scared me so much that I didn’t loosen it after that.... The surgery itself was done in just 1 hour 15 minutes (the shorter the surgery time, the less bleeding and the lower the risk of infection, they said) and there was almost no bleeding, so the drainage bottle didn’t even fill up. The person who had surgery before me took a bit longer and did have a drainage bottle fill up.. I guess it really does differ from person to person. I stayed in the hospital for one day.. From 4 p.m. to 9 a.m. the next morning, I couldn’t sleep a single wink.. (I also hadn’t slept at all the night before surgery) and I cursed the compression bandage and regretted the surgery a hundred times..ㅠㅠ That compression bandage, you know.. it wasn’t just tight.. it felt like someone was poking my chest hard again and again.. it was hard to breathe, and later my back started aching too.. I couldn’t even lie down.. I sat, stood, and tossed around helplessly, not knowing what to do... Why did time pass so slowly... Even now when I think back... it was truly a dreadful night.... I was in so much pain that I didn’t even cry.... At the nurse’s words that she would loosen it at 9 in the morning.. I just stared at the clock as if cursing it, and from 8:30 I went around the empty hospital looking for the nurse, leaning against the walls -_- When the nurse, who had just woken up, loosened the bandage, I let out a gasp and thought, I’m alive now.ㅠㅠ "Nurse, I didn’t sleep a wink all night and regretted it." "There are people like that.." The breasts reflected in the mirror then were so swollen that they looked bigger than a full B cup. Now that all the swelling has gone down, I feel a little disappointed..^^; I was discharged in the morning and came home by taxi... The taxi driver must have noticed something? because he drove extremely carefully, so I got home without any discomfort. For about three days, I slept two or three hours at a time.. (my breasts kept swelling and it felt painful? I’d get up, massage, loosen the muscles, and then sleep again.. that’s what I did) After about a week, it became a bit more comfortable.. It seems like it takes around ten days to two weeks before you can live normally again.. Even on the day of surgery, things like tying my hair up, washing my face, and getting dressed were possible.. The pulling feeling in the armpit mostly disappears after about two weeks.. Scar appearance under the armpit apparently differs from person to person, but mine remained as a red line without much unevenness.. Still, just in case, I bought scar ointment (50,000 won ㅠㅠ) and have been applying it twice a day.. Compared to the surgery pain I suffered from.. what was worse was the first day with the compression bandage.. and after that too.. I had to wear a band for a month, but they told me not to use the band that pulls the breasts inward, so I didn’t.. I only wore the band that supports them downward, and even that was so uncomfortable that when I slept I’d unconsciously loosen it again and again. These days they told me to wear it diagonally to match the lower fold; this too I still can’t manage properly..ㅠ ㅠ I’m just a pretty sensitive person.. Um... and I think it’s best not to drive for a generous two weeks. When I drove to the hospital on the seventh day, I almost got into an accident.. When I turned the steering wheel, I felt a soft, sagging sensation in my chest and my arms didn’t respond properly.; As for massage, after about a month you really do get lazy..ㅠㅠ Before surgery, I was determined to do it more diligently than anyone else~ but...;; the boyfriend who said he’d massage them doesn’t have time very often... I used to wonder, if I get breast surgery, do I need to buy all new bras? It was a happy worry? But maybe because I’d been wearing such large bras, once the swelling went down, all my old bras fit well. Even a 75A fits. It’s a bit tight, but maybe that’s because I lowered the straps as much as possible so as not to affect the lower fold.; When my boyfriend said, "You had surgery, so why are you still an A cup? Then how small were you before?" I was shocked.......... But when he touched me, he was surprised and said, "Huh, it’s big?"; To me too... it looks pretty big, probably because I had so little before; Of course, I still wish it were bigger............................ If I wear a Victoria’s Secret 32B (padded bra;), there’s a little room left.. but my chest looks huge; I think I’ll probably keep wearing padded bras even after surgery -_-; ㅠㅠ...?! Of course, they say it’s best not to wear a bra for a year, so I’m using a NuBra or nipple covers.. and only wear one for a little while when I go on dates occasionally.. Actually, from right after surgery I wanted to post a detailed review from day two, day three, and so on.. but back then I was so depressed and emotionally drained that I couldn’t write one... If I get the chance next time, I’ll try posting photos too.. I hope this helps a little for those of you thinking about surgery.. And.. It’s something I’d heard over and over from this community even before surgery, but.. I think it’s better to make the size as large as possible, if you can...^^;