This is kind of like talking to myself, so I’m just going to speak casually.. If that bothers anyone, I hope you’ll just not read it ㅠ ㅠ Ever since high school, I’d lived with a longing to get nose surgery But when it actually came time to do it, I got scared and gave up Then I made a big decision and booked it, and it turned out I was pregnant So I gave up on nose surgery ㅠ After 10 months of pregnancy, giving birth, and one year passing after having the baby, I made a big decision again I roughly looked up clinics in this community, went to three places, and decided on the one I had originally planned on. But when I heard that inflammation could happen after nose surgery, I got scared and disappeared on the surgery day Still, I wanted it so, so badly, so I went back, begged for forgiveness for disappearing, and booked another date During the consultation, I said, “I have a nasal bridge, so please just do the nasal tip” < like this, and I got seriously scolded The doctor looked at me like I was incredibly frustrating So I whined that I’d do whatever he told me to, but please make my mouth look more recessed too After hearing him say he could definitely make my mouth look more recessed, I became convinced. On the day of surgery, I went to the clinic and they gave me three injections in my arm. They said it would hurt, but compared with the injections I got when having my baby, it was nothing For reference, I had a C-section But at the end, there was something like an antibiotic reaction test or something, and they said that injection hurts for everyone, so this time it would really hurt.. I said I’d already done that reaction test when having the baby and that I didn’t need it, but it had no effect at all But that last injection really hurt Something was bulging up at the injection site When the nurse wasn’t there, I gently touched it, and it felt like a pebble had been put right under my skin Then I got onto the operating table, and when they clipped something onto my toe, I heard a beep-beep-beep pulse sound When I heard they were doing sleep anesthesia, since I can’t sleep well because of the baby, I was happy thinking I could sleep as much as I wanted When they said they were putting in the anesthetic, I recalled the memory of when my baby was born and was counting one second, two seconds Back then, I fell asleep in 5 seconds, but this time I went poof in 8 seconds But I woke up once in the middle I heard snip-snip sounds, and I don’t know if they had tied some kind of boulder to my arm, but my arm felt so heavy My nose hurt too ㅠ So I tried to say, “Please untie the stone from my arm,” but only “ugh ugh” sounds came out Then they put me back to sleep. When I opened my eyes, my husband had come with the baby He clicked his tongue at me and said I looked like a monster My mind was hazy, and the nurse was explaining precautions, but I couldn’t really hear I asked the nurse, “I woke up for a moment earlier, right?” and she said I didn’t wake up and that I must have dreamed it I wanted to argue that it wasn’t a dream, but I had no strength to argue I wasn’t clear-headed enough to understand what she was saying about precautions, so I told my husband to listen for me My man.. looked especially cool that day I got home, and it hurt so, so much that I took painkillers first My nose was completely blocked, so I slept with my mouth open, but in my sleep my mouth kept closing on its own, so I woke up several times startled because I couldn’t breathe I’d been exhausted from difficult childcare and would go outside to smoke, but until the second day I didn’t think about cigarettes Then on the third day, I wanted to smoke so, so badly I must have wanted it so badly because for two nights straight I only dreamed about smoking On the 5th day, as soon as I got my stitches removed and came home, I smoked first On the 6th day, I smoked a bit more, and today I smoked even more Still, there’s nothing particularly abnormal yet I’m scared inflammation might develop, but I think even inflammation would be my fate Anyway, now I’m just waiting until the swelling goes down I’m sad because my husband keeps teasing me and calling me Avatar What I felt is that nose surgery hurts only about one-tenth as much as giving birth- Nose surgery hurts too, but while thinking about when I had my baby, I endured it by thinking, “This much is like getting scraped after falling down” The conclusion is, thinking of it this way, I’m too scared to have a second child ㅠ ㅠ That was the rambling nose surgery story of an immature mom ㅋㅋ
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