I had surgery with dermis

It’s been over a year since my surgery. To be exact, it’s been about a year and a half. I only just found out about this community, so I’m looking around now. I should have come here earlier. I was a bit frustrated because there was nowhere to talk about dermis. I had surgical complications, so I was backed into a corner and did this as a last resort, thinking I would never touch my nose again. Considering the surgery cost and everything, I also set aside a really long recovery period before having the surgery. I had the surgery because I didn’t want to be stressed about my nose anymore, but now my feelings are half and half. When I hadn’t touched my nose at all, I used to think, I just wish my nose were a tiny bit higher. I just wish it were like other people’s. Things like that. I didn’t have much greed. I just wanted the bridge of my nose to be slightly higher. That was about it. But once I started altering it, there was no end to the greed. I wanted it to be prettier, wanted it to be higher... I thought, since I went as far as having surgery, it should be pretty. But after I had surgical complications.. it was truly so painful, and I felt almost like I had given up, so I learned about dermis as a material, hoping that even if it wasn’t as pretty as a surgically enhanced nose, it would at least be better than before. I searched for a few months, then decided, okay, let’s do it. But once I actually had the surgery, my mind changed again. After doing it with dermis, it has continued to be absorbed even now, and my nose is gradually getting lower, so every day feels nerve-racking. People say to live without paying attention to it, but when I look in the mirror, I can see the change, so it’s impossible not to care. I wonder if it’s going back to how it used to be.. Looking at old photos.. I feel like that shouldn’t happen.. When I see posts saying it all got absorbed, I get so anxious. I thought I had emptied my mind a lot when I got on the operating table, but not at all. The reason I keep worrying is, if I only thought about my own face, I wouldn’t care whether it absorbs or not. I can think that it’s okay even if it absorbs a little.. But if I just stayed at home it would be one thing, but because I work, I keep meeting new people. My face keeps changing compared with when they first saw me.. Even if I empty my mind 100 times, this is truly so painful. Isn’t it always an embarrassing situation? It’s not that my nose is gradually getting higher, it’s gradually getting lower. At first it was pretty, but little by little, somehow, it’s not as pretty as before.. Right now it’s only been about a year and a half, so maybe that’s why, but it’s still okay. But thinking this is temporary is what drives me crazy. I’m curious about people who had dermis, especially those who had it a long time ago. Until when did it keep absorbing.. Are you living well and okay, things like that.