I really want to have it removed

It breaks my heart so much seeing so many people suffering because of nose surgery and thinking about removal. I also want removal, but I’m distressed because even if I remove it, I can’t go back even a little to how I looked before. My original nose was a hump nose, so it was high and wide, and the nasal tip was somewhat short, but because it had no defined tip point and was blunt, soft, and squishy, it didn’t look very upturned, so it didn’t look bad. Overall, maybe a nose with a Kim Soo-hyun kind of feel.. Anyway, I had nose surgery twice: the hump was shaved, I had osteotomy twice, used ear cartilage, and now I’m in a state where septal extension has been done. There’s nothing on the bridge. Oh, I also had a large alar reduction through an external incision. I say twice, but they did every kind of manipulation possible in all sorts of nose surgery. As a result, my nasal bones are almost nonexistent now. It’s not just a low nose; the bridge is stuck to my facial bone. On top of that, because of the upturned nose, they did septal extension, so this has become an absurd, strange nose beyond a ski-slope nose, almost like an ㄴ shape.. Because of the alar reduction, it became a pinched nose. Other people at least still have the form of a nose, but right now this doesn’t look like a nose to me. My confidence has fallen as much as my missing nasal bone It’s almost been 6 months since surgery, and now I’ve developed social avoidance, and because of my nose I’m living shut away. I used to like dressing up and going out, but now I’m like this. The time I’m spending like this feels so wasteful and unfair, and this is the only place I can say things like this.. I think, it’s just one nose, so what, but when I see my uglier face I go crazy again.. I want to get my daily life back as soon as possible. I hope everyone who is planning removal has good results!!!!!! Because I’m so frustrated and this is the only place where I can let it out, I’m leaving a long post. I want to talk a lot from now on with people getting removal