Three nose surgeries, and I want to remove everything

I’ve been very interested in nose surgery since high school, and I’m 33 now, and I’ve had nose surgery 3 times so far. I never had anything like inflammation, but each time I had it done, it felt like my nose tip overall was gradually dropping a little, so I kept doing it out of greed. Even if I was satisfied at the time, in the end, after time passed, it would droop again.. So I thought I’d give up on the nose tip and just live with it, but now the area where the nasal bridge and nose tip connect? has started to look slightly raised and sunken, like a little mound and indentation, so I was so stressed. I didn’t even want surgery anymore, so I wanted to have it removed, but I was working at a company at the time, so I couldn’t have surgery. I searched online a lot and saw photos of someone with a case like mine who had filler injected into the sunken area to fill it, so I went right away and got filler too. People usually say filler after nose surgery is dangerous, but the director said they knew the risks and would avoid the blood vessels and inject only a small amount to improve it, so I did it. It was more expensive than regular filler, but I had no other option, so I had the procedure and was living satisfied, but after about a year, the filler was absorbed, and the indentation is visible again Because of COVID, I’m on leave from work and have time, so now I’m thinking about removal surgery. I also can’t keep getting filler in a surgically operated nose once a year.. But my fear of surgery is growing again In my teens and 20s, I tried so hard to fit an absolute standard of beauty, but now I regret it so much