Isn't getting an early nose removal really out of the question? I want to die

As I wrote in the post below, I had planned to get bridge osteotomy and tip surgery with ear cartilage without an implant. And no matter how I think about it, the side-profile angle of my nose just doesn't look normal, and from the front it looks too bulky, so I thought I needed to check the condition of my nose... So I called one of the clinics specializing in early removal, and fortunately they could see me right away, so I had a consultation. To summarize my nose condition, they said this: - There are two layers of cartilage in the nasal support, and three to four layers of cartilage at the tip, which is why the nose looks bulky. Even if the swelling goes down, the overall frontal shape of the nose will not change. - The side view was set too high, and even after the swelling goes down it probably won't change much. - They also removed part of the septum during surgery (I wasn't told this, and that's why I chose that surgery clinic. The only good thing is that they said they didn't remove so much that the nose would collapse, but I have no idea what they used the septum for lol). - It looks like they also removed some fat from the alar base, but the only positive is that if everything is removed, it will become slimmer than my original nose. For now I have consultations booked at two other places tomorrow, but... after seeing reviews of people who had early removal and ended up with their noses badly upturned and missing the surgery nose so much, the thought that if I can't even do early removal I have to live with this nose for 6 months makes my whole body tremble and I keep crying... The tears just keep falling; what do I do? It's so hard.... My family is also so worried about me that it feels like my heart is being torn apart. I should have just listened to the people who told me not to have surgery. More than anything, when my mom laments, asking why I have to suffer like this, I feel so upset.. It feels like I drove a nail straight into my mom and dad's hearts...