I had my first nose surgery at 24, and the first materials were ear cartilage + silicone. For two weeks the bleeding would not stop and the wound would not heal well, so because of inflammation they made a hole above my eyebrow on my forehead to irrigate it, and in the end the doctor had to cut only one side and remove the silicone. Then my nose got pulled upward and I ended up with the hardest type of contracture, so only my nostrils showed and it became like a Michael Jackson nose. I waited until the skin softened, then repeated reconstructive surgery. After repeating revision surgery with autologous costal cartilage 4 or 5 times, my immunity weakened and bacteria got infected, including Pseudomonas... As time passed, the cartilage that had been inserted with ear cartilage in my nose started to dissolve, so the tip of my nose became deformed. It was a drug-resistant bacterium, so I had to wait again until the values went down, then applied ointment and had revision surgery again. But after the 7th and last surgery, they said a fungal infection was detected because of the sunken nasal tip, so I could not have surgery and only kept rinsing my nose. I had surgery scheduled at a university hospital for the sunken nasal tip, but it was canceled, and I feel so miserable that I want to die... It was so unfair that the surgery was canceled because of the resident strike. Nothing is getting resolved, and the nasal tip keeps sinking more over time. I feel so hurt, but everyone keeps pushing me to get a job. I cannot carry myself around with this face, and lately I keep having only bad thoughts.
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