What’s worse, I’m only at 3 months right now, and I just came back from two places that do consults for 3-month post-op patients. I held on for 8 months on psychiatric meds before this surgery because I was terrified of it failing again, but I paid a ridiculous amount of money, only had my autologous costal cartilage harvested, and ended up as a wreck with only scars left. So I can’t even live with a clear head, my nose is ruined, and I’m being ostracized at work, so I’m barely hanging on in a state where I feel like I’m right on the edge of dying. Even knowing my situation, I asked the hospitals why they won’t take me at 6 months, and both of them, after seeing me at 3 months, could only say to wait more than a year. I really want to die. Logically, if they say surgery is impossible even at 6 months, aren’t they basically telling me to die? I’m only 3 months out and I’m already barely holding on, and telling me to endure until next year and throw away all the time this year is basically telling me to die. I’m already being ostracized because of this ruined nose, so how much worse can it get from here? Is surgery impossible at 6 months just because they opened the nose a lot? Surgically, is it simply impossible? If not, then refusing even 6 months when I’m not even asking for surgery at 3 months, isn’t that just crushing all hope that my nose will get better and telling me to die?
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