I recently quit my job, and I’ve been using spare moments to go around to consultations because I want to get away from the distrust I’ve had toward the nose surgery I had 10 years ago in my 20s, when I didn’t know anything, and from some mild side-effect symptoms. But it’s really making my self-esteem drop.. My original nose itself had a low bridge and was a wide, bulbous nose, so it was definitely a very tricky and difficult nose, but back then I wasn’t able to see my nose objectively. I only went to two consultations, and even those were just large hospitals, and I think the problem started when I rashly used Gore-Tex for my first surgery.. I’ve gone to about six consultations so far? But at every hospital I went to, either the doctor or the consulting manager would always say something rude about my face. Some people started with things like, “You lived with that nose (as if it were a completely botched, disastrous nose from some terribly wrong surgery) for almost 10 years and had no trouble with your social life? (smirk),” and “Your original nose must have been so bad (basically saying it was ugly) for you to have had surgery in your early 20s...” etc. It feels like I’m hearing every unpleasant and uncomfortable thing there is to hear in life all over again... After the surgery, people around me actually mostly complimented me and said my nose turned out pretty, so I keep pointlessly replaying whether all of those words were fake and empty compliments.. Of course, since it’s plastic surgery, I thought some degree of judgment about appearance would be unavoidable, but I didn’t know it would hit my self-esteem this hardㅠ
Today I went to another hospital for a consultation and heard something rude from the consulting manager, so after arguing a little, I’m on my way back feeling worked up, and I’m just leaving this rambling vent here at least
++ I didn’t expect this many comments, so I was really surprised!! Thank you so much everyone for the comfort and encouragementㅠㅠ I wrote yesterday’s post when I was feeling so depressed, so I think I accidentally wrote in honorifics in some parts, and while fixing that, there were parts where the wording became awkward or things got distorted differently from what I intended! First of all, not all 6 hospitals I went to for consultations were as rude as the examples I wrote! To be exact, including the hospital I went to yesterday (then that makes 7!), 3 places were really bad, and most of them gave clean feedback along the lines of “Everything is good, but the ~~ area is a little lacking,” or “I don’t think you really need to do it.” There were definitely hospitals where both the doctor and the consulting manager were kind and said good things! Honestly, revision rhinoplasty is more difficult than the first surgery and costs several times more, so I think from the hospital’s standpoint, evaluating things coldly and strictly led them to say things in that awful wayㅋ And as some people said, maybe they were doing it on purpose to make me get surgery right away, or maybe they just said whatever because they thought I wouldn’t do it at their hospitalㅋ I’m not going to think too deeply about it anymore! There are plenty of hospitals anyway~~ I don’t know how to wrap this upㅋㅋ Everyone, when you go for consultations, make sure to hold onto your mental state, and if anything feels even a little uncomfortable or wrong to you, let it go in one ear and out the other, and confidently filter it out no matter how much others recommend it! Especially if it’s revision surgery, since you may have to keep going to the hospital for a long time for aftercare, even more so!! Thank you again so much for the comments, and I’ll make sure the revision surgery succeeds and leave a good review post :)