My story about the worst under-eye fat repositioning surgery

I had under-eye fat repositioning surgery at a place that only used local anesthesia, without sedation. But throughout the whole surgery, it was so uncomfortable and painful. I somehow endured the uncomfortable feeling, but I really couldn’t stand the sharp, pinching-like pain that came and went, so I said it hurt. Then they said it was really hard to operate because my eyes were small lol The doctor was like, “Ah, it’s hard to operate because your eyes are small. Patient! Your eyes are too small~”... But even then, I felt like I shouldn’t get on the doctor’s bad side, so I laughed and tried to keep him in a good mood..ㅎ Thinking that the surgical assistants next to him were seeing all of this made me feel seriously humiliated.     And then during the surgery, he kept asking me things like, “What school do you go to, what’s your major, why did you take a leave of absence, what did you do during your leave, did you just play around?” For reference, I’m an international student, and I had taken a leave of absence because of various circumstances, and this time I came back to Korea briefly because of visa issues. But I didn’t want to talk about my personal matters, and it hurt so much that I wasn’t in the right state of mind to answer, so I just tried to answer roughly and move on, like, “I took a leave because of COVID. I worked during my leave~” Then he asked whether I was going to work in Korea after graduating or go work in that country, so I said I was going to work in that country. Then that doctor said, “Who would hire a kid who doesn’t even study lol”...;; (How the fuck would you know whether I study or not) I felt offended and didn’t respond, and then he said he was just joking, so don’t take it seriously. Then he bragged that his own child also graduated from school in that country, and even though that country has a severe job shortage, they got a job right away and are working.       After that, he talked nonstop throughout the rest of the surgery, and the content wasn’t pleasant either (talking badly about people from a certain group). On top of that, I was in so much pain and had to respond to everything he said one by one, so it was really exhausting. Overall, I felt like I was being treated carelessly, and I kept thinking, why do I have to pay money to be treated like this? I regretted choosing this hospital so much during the surgery.     When I went to check the mid-stage progress, he barely mentioned the surgical area and kept telling me to get eye surgery from him too. After treating me like that during surgery, what makes him think I could have another surgery there... lol     Anyway, it’s been one week since the surgery now, and the area around my eyes is still very swollen. I don’t know if it’s because of the swelling or what, but the tear troughs and hollow-looking under-eye area seem worse than before the surgery. Every time I look in the mirror, I keep remembering what that doctor said, so I feel pretty depressed. When I had rhinoplasty, I wasn’t this mentally distressed during the recovery period, but this time I keep having negative thoughts, I hate my face so much, and I feel really depressed...