I want to kill myself.

I had double-eyelid surgery three months ago. My epicanthal folds were really severe and my eyelids were droopy, so they had always been a complex for me. In my mind, I only wanted to remove the epicanthal folds and remove just the sagging skin. But I was told that would leave scars and that cases like that are uncommon, so I got double eyelids. I was prepared to become a laughingstock, but even after three months it still looks awkward, and even strangers stare when they pass by.. At school, the boys snicker. I want to kill them all. The surgery was so poorly done that it seems like fat wasn’t even properly removed from one eye .. Before doing it, I’d even heard people say I had a cute face, but now only my eyes look round and wide open, so awkward, and my face looks huge.. It’s so ugly. At three months, there shouldn’t be any more swelling left to go down, but the sausage-like swelling is still no joke. Can’t this be restored back to how it was.. I heard you can’t do that if it was done with the incisional method.. Well, all the skin was cut away, after all.. I regret every night why I was so rash.. I don’t have money either... Is there anyone who knows a way, even after an incisional method, to undo the double eyelids and return them close to the original shape?

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