Nose surgery four times only..

My very first surgery was the summer before last. It hurt beyond anything I could have imagined.. I had L-shaped silicone + AlloDerm used for the nasal tip. I was fairly satisfied with the nose shape, but as the swelling went down, I discovered the nasal bridge was crooked. From then on, staring at my nasal bridge all day became my job.. In the passport photo and ID photo I took back then, if you look closely, you can see the silicone is crooked.. After continuing to be bothered by it, I had my second surgery after 6 months. For the first few months, it seemed to have gone well.. but this time, toward the columella, a situation happened where the silicone was coming out.. I had surgery again after 6 months. I got greedy and had the nasal bridge raised really high. After surgery, I had no swelling at all.. so I went out from the next day.. I guess I let my guard down because I was too fine. After just a week, I drank alcohol and stayed out all night.. But around ten days later, if I lost even a little sleep and got tired, my nasal bridge would swell and rise higher than my forehead.. Even the nasal bone area would swell together.. Before that, people couldn't really tell I had surgery, but at that point everyone said it was very obvious.. I didn't want surgery again, so I tried to endure it somehow, but the silicone kept coming out toward the nasal tip.. My nasal tip also turned red, and it hurt so much I couldn't even wash my face.. After three months, I went back to the hospital.. Because I was worried I would have to remove the silicone, I couldn't sleep for two days and was as sensitive as possible.. Fortunately, they removed the L-shaped silicone and operated again with a straight implant.. During the surgery, while I was groggy from sleep anesthesia, I told the doctor several times that I had been so stressed because of the nasal bridge and asked them to lower it a lot.. It's almost been 4 months since the last surgery.. Compared with my old nose, the nasal bridge is much lower, and the nasal tip isn't as slim as before either.. but unless I tell people first, they don't know I had surgery. They react like, It's natural, but pretty.. After the first surgery, every time I had surgery, what stressed me the most seems to have been worrying the silicone might become crooked again.. For a year and a half, I was so stressed because of my nose, and I think I really suffered... I had surgery at a place very far from home, so I think that made me worry more and suffer more.. All four surgeries were done at the same hospital.. They did all the revision surgeries for me without charging.. I never want to go near a plastic surgery clinic again