24 hours have passed... complicated feelings..

I’m the type to have a lot of regrets, so even while having this surgery, what worried me most was, what if I regret it? Because of my age--; I wandered around this community for nearly a month and went to a lot of different clinics. In the end, I had set a date at ㅇㅅ in Bundang. I had waited a really long time just to get that date. But! On the day of surgery, no matter how much I thought about it, it was just too far. So I went to a certain clinic in Yeouido that was supposedly known for double eyelids. I went there, had a consultation right away, and got on the operating table. I did think it was a bit reckless. Clinics like ㅍㅅㅌ and ㅇㅅ had all recommended a partial incision, but this ophthalmologist said as soon as he saw me that I had signs of ptosis, and that I would need a full incision and some kind of muscle resection or whatever. I also wondered if that was unnecessary, but I felt like if I didn’t just do it then, I might have to wait another year again.. so, bang.. I made up my mind and got on the operating table.. As soon as I lay down on the operating table, the doctor said, “The side with ptosis may not close, and you’ll almost 100% end up with uneven eyes.” That’s what he said. Gasp.. what could I do. All I could say was please do a good job.. Maybe the doctor is a devout Christian, because he prayed. I said “Amen” with him. And then the surgery.. Ah.. the anesthesia pain was tolerable enough, and there wasn’t much pain. But.. The sounds, and the movements of the scissors and knife.. the feeling of warm liquid flowing around my eyes.. it was something else. So the surgery, which took about an hour, ended. And now, as 24 hours are passing.. Ah.. it’s really painful. Regret over having unexpectedly ended up doing a full incision when I had only been thinking about a partial incision, fear that maybe I shouldn’t have done the epicanthoplasty, pressure from eyes that won’t open, the burden of people’s stares now that I have to go to work, fear over eyes that seem to be showing signs they’ll become completely uneven, regret, regret...... My mind really is complicated. After hesitating for years over whether to do it or not, I suddenly had surgery in a method I hadn’t expected at all, so all kinds of thoughts are coming up. From wondering if I shouldn’t have listened to that doctor, to whether it would have been better if I’d just had partial-incision surgery at ㅇㅅ.. Rolling around at home all day seems to be making me even more depressed. Thank you for reading. I think I need to pray. Please let my eyes become pretty eyes that suit me, so I won’t regret it. You’ll all pray for me too, right? ^^ Thank you for reading this long post. Please just say one thing each, “I hope you become prettier.” Still, this community is my comfort..