My already shallow relationships became even shallower because I avoided meeting people due to post-surgery swelling. I feel startled when I end up among people talking about being for or against plastic surgery. I look at passersby or celebrities and mutter, 'They had something done,' and recognize it right away. It feels like every passerby is only looking at me. Because of the swelling, I keep staying cooped up at home, and what increases is my weight.. and the TV programs I’m completely clearing through.. I really started hating myself for lazing around. I’ve become subtly sensitive and irritable. I could endure all of that. I really could.. But what truly makes me angry is being talked about by those ridiculous people who don’t even know me properly. A close friend says she’s joking, but on Cyworld she keeps dropping hints, not directly but directly and indirectly. Because my parents are in the provinces and couldn’t come up, some close older friends who went with me when I went for surgery jokingly took a photo of me lying in the hospital after surgery with bandages wrapped around me. Then an older girl from my department saw that photo while looking through the digital camera.. I told them not to take it like that.. I couldn’t see in front of me, so I thought they hadn’t taken it. That older girl from my department isn’t even close to me. It’ll spread all over the department. I was really so angry that tears came out. Ah. I’m so pissed. It’s not that I’m scared of rumors spreading. As I said earlier, what really annoys and angers me is that ridiculous people who don’t know me properly gather around with nothing to do, chatter, and my story ends up in their mouths like gum stuck there. Because of this.. after surgery.. I really regret it. Thinking, I should have just not done it.. They ask if I’m being too sensitive, but tell them to try having surgery themselves! They’d get sensitive too.
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