Refund and revision surgery///

I had nose surgery at one hospital a whopping 3 times. Including the removal surgery, that makes 4 times. During the 3 surgeries, the shape became really strange.. Of course I wasn’t satisfied at all... and I developed social anxiety;; Something felt off, but they said it wasn’t inflammation.. You know what they always say? Wait and watch the swelling go down for up to 6 months; But later it even started to hurt. When it had been 6 months, I went in. Even after seeing that it hurt and the color had changed, they said it wasn’t inflammation. Then they examined inside my nose, found out it was inflammation, and removed everything. After removing it.. it was actually better than when the implant was in. But I had a hump shaved down.. and when the implant was in, I couldn’t tell, but after taking it out... only that part of my nasal bridge became wide, so a woman’s nasal bridge looks bumpy;;; The nasal tip too... sigh... I had a bulbous nose.. Well.. it’s not even my original nose anymore... anyway, it somehow became strangely broad and flat. In the end, that hospital gave me a refund, so I received it. Later.. they said they would cover the cost if I wanted nose surgery at another hospital. And they would take care of all hospital treatment and checkups.. They wrote a kind of written agreement? saying they would provide revision surgery costs. After that, I went in for several checkups and got some injections. The hospital is kind and always apologizes while taking good care of me. If possible.. Now it’s so awful that I think, if possible, I should just live like this.. But still, before, from the front at least my nasal bridge looked straight. Now it totally looks like a nose that got hit somewhere.. it’s thicker.. and the nose color has gotten darker.. I can’t go out without makeup. The nasal tip has also had cartilage manipulation, so it’s not the old shape either.. From the side it looks pointy, from the front it’s a broad, flat bulbous nose.. I really feel more and more hopeless... it’s so hard. I need to get married too.. but I have social anxiety... During such an important time, I only meet my girlfriend.. For me... in this current situation.. If I have surgery.. I think I’ll need osteotomy... If I have surgery at another hospital... will the previous hospital really pay the cost? We did write the contract that way.. But am I too kind;;; (Is this normal?) After surgery they gave me injections and were kind with this and that.. always apologizing and looking after me... If I really demand what was written in the contract... I’m worried that hospital will be dumbfounded and say something.. I shouldn’t get weak like this, right? It’s not a small amount of money.. Actually... I only received the refund.. But 4 surgeries... that’s not easy. My home is in the provinces too, so every time there were transportation costs.. The time I lost.. and in the end, the problems have gotten worse now.. What would you all do? They even wrote a contract.. so if I feel sorry and pay with my own money... (I don’t even have money;;) to get surgery... that’s not right either. But with how I feel now.. it’s like I’m the one who has to feel sorry while asking for money.. ah.. I feel pointlessly pathetic.. Other people all seem to turn out pretty in one go.. But me... sigh.. Please give me some advice.