Waiting is so hard

It’s been 22 days since my surgery now. I’m waiting, trusting what everyone said and what the doctor said, that once the swelling goes down, my nose will look more defined. The swelling between my eyebrows, which people said lasts a long time, is almost gone now too. When I smile and it pulls, it seems like the swelling around the nostril area is all gone too, but my nose is still low. I got it augmented because my nose was low, so how can the augmented nose still be low? It really ended up not looking like a nose that had surgery, but like a nose that still needs surgery. My friends say, “Did you want to become Han Ga-in’s nose?” and tell me it’s okay... but my closest friend doesn’t say anything whenever we meet. Then when I say maybe I should get revision surgery, she says what’s the point, it’s a little better than before. In this state where the swelling looks completely gone, I feel so depressed. At least in the evening my nasal bridge looks like it’s there a bit, but once morning comes, I get so depressed... Maybe it’s because I keep sleeping in these days and I’m swollen... On top of that, mine is Gore-Tex, so I feel like it’ll get even lower. Until when does Gore-Tex keep getting absorbed? I just hope it stops getting lower now. And today, looking at it, the nasal bridge and tip area don’t look natural. The tip suddenly rises sharply, so instead of a pretty beoseon-shaped nose, it looks like a beoseon-shaped nose that suddenly sticks out. I originally wanted a semi-beoseon shape.... It would be nice if the tip came down, but then the nose would look even lower again...... The days when I cried every day after taking the tape off have passed, but I keep wanting revision surgery. I should hold back, right? I already touched it once, and honestly I don’t want to do it a second time.... There’s no guarantee I’ll be satisfied either. My nose was low, but I used to hear a lot that I looked cute. I had it done so subtly that it barely shows, but the cuteness is completely gone, and why do my eyes look slanted now... I’ve changed to look fierce. I think loving myself is the most important thing. If someone says they’re getting their nose augmented, I’m going to stop them now. I’ll just tell them to love themselves. Right now, it’s not easy to love myself. I was worried it would be obvious if I got my nose augmented, so I deliberately told people not to ask me about it.... Now I’m about to hear people say, “That’s augmented?” If I’d known it would be like this, I shouldn’t have said anything.... Even if I tell my friends this, they just say it’s okay, so everyone, please give me strength...