Um... The very first surgery I had was around February.... At that time, it was not long before I had to go to school, so I thought I should hurry and do it... Because I had a flat nose and it had always been my own complex, I kept thinking that I wanted to do it, that I absolutely had to do it.. Then somehow I made an appointment at a place near my home run by a somewhat well-known doctor from the Gangnam area. Of course, I didn’t really look into it much.. I was in a rush. I just thought, “If only my nose could be a bit higher on my face.. As long as it’s not a flat nose.” I had always thought that way. After making a consultation appointment for nose surgery, I was just happy lol Even when my mom told me to look into it more.. I said it was fine, that I had looked into everything, and that it was good because the doctor was from the Gangnam area... Then the day approached, one day, two days.... On the consultation day, I went with my mom and had the consultation, but the conversation gradually turned into something like, let’s go straight to surgery, so without even properly knowing the style I wanted or the surgical method, in the end I had it done right away that day.. I really didn’t know I would have surgery that day.. At that time, I didn’t know about this community either, and there was no one nearby to ask. Maybe because I’m a guy, I didn’t look into things carefully.. I just thought, finally I’m getting my nose raised, and was happy about it.. Like I was going to get rid of a burden... After surgery, I came home.. I couldn’t breathe well, had no appetite, and just got irritated at my mom for no reason... It was suffocating. Still, while looking in the mirror, I told myself, it’s okay~ finally my nose is higher~ Back then, tape was attached, so I couldn’t see my whole face. Then the days passed, and on the day one week later when the tape was removed.. I felt really depressed.. I was about to cry. The nose had been made completely long and high... It was so obvious.... Every time I looked in the mirror, it was hard.... I really didn’t know my impression would change like this. When raising the nose, I thought, ah~ only the nose goes up, but my impression changed drastically.... Especially since they raised the glabella area that I didn’t have before... My eyes ended up looking completely sharp... Before surgery, I had already heard a lot that I had a good impression, that I looked kind, gentle, and cute... It was just that having a low nose made me lack confidence as a man, so I did it.... I endured it like that for a month. As time passed, the swelling went down and it got better. Still, because of my eyes, I was depressed for the entire month. In the end.. because of my eyes, I had revision surgery. I had revision surgery exactly on the day that marked one month. At first, I just thought, “Please, just let me go back to how I originally looked,” and tried to remove the silicone, but they kept telling me not to remove it... to exchange it for a smaller implant.. Even when I kept posting consultation questions elsewhere, people said not to just remove it, that exchanging it would be a hundred times better.. that I would regret it. So I thought, if only my eyes could go back, and I told the doctor to lower the glabella area to about how it used to be. And then the revision surgery... The revision surgery didn’t hurt and there was almost no bleeding.. Only tape was applied, and I could breathe right away... “Ah, now my eyes will go back... I’m glad I did it.” Even then, I was suffering so much, really... If I had been a quiet kid?? Maybe it would have been less bad. I was very active and always went out with friends.. Then suddenly I couldn’t do that... so every single day was painful.. It cost a lot of money too... and my family isn’t even well-off ㅠㅠ And now it’s day 18.. It seems like it might be better than before the revision surgery.... Of course, my eyes haven’t gone back. Overall it looks awkward. I don’t know if it’s because of swelling, but it’s not like before ^^ I’m writing this now after coming back from school, and I’m really depressed. I can’t hang out with my friends, and I feel like my personality is changing... I try to relieve stress by eating. Most of all, people’s gazes scare me so much. I really can’t stand this.. Several times a day I feel like I’m about to burst into tears. It feels like they’re all staring only at me.... like they’re staring at a clown doll... When they see me, it feels like they whisper and mock me. Anyway, if I only keep worrying like this, I feel like my future will become even darker lol So I’m going to get a grip and try to divert my attention away from my appearance as much as possible.. I’ll study Japanese, which I like ... ^^ lol Ah~~~ All I can do is sigh. Really, really, I went through so much... and mentally it was so hard.... .................. What I regret most now is... I should have waited just one week... I should have looked into more clinics.... I should have looked into this and that.... Why was I in such a hurry ... I should have looked into it more... That’s what it is.. I regret it ... and I can’t turn things back to before I did it. I’m writing this because I think there may be people like me. They said it was raised by 3 mm or so (I found this out only after surgery too), and now my whole impression has changed. I don’t know whether it’s extremely obvious or not.. but I can’t walk around with my head up. I used to be sociable and active.. Now I just walk around with my head down like a guilty person, and I only find myself pathetic - I’m going to wait longer and think about what to do during vacation. I hope everyone here gets good results in one try, without going through hardship like me~ Ah.. though there probably isn’t anyone like me. If I really wanted to give advice, it would be not to rush... Look into it enough, even more than enough, think, consult, and think about the future before doing it... Not doing that is what I regret the most.
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