Hello~ㅠㅠ I really thought I was going to die todayㅠㅠ Back in early 2005, right after I finished my senior year of high school, I had absolutely no confidence in my nose bridge. ㅜㅜ My original nose bridge between the eyebrows was probably about 2 mm. It was such a complex for me that I kept thinking I absolutely had to get surgery before becoming a college student, so after stewing over it for a long time, I went ahead with the operation.. I raised it 5 mm with Gore-Tex. Even back then, I really thought I was going to die ㅠㅠ The moment I got onto the operating table, I thought, 'Oh no!!' ㅜㅠㅠㅠ Although my old nose was low, it still had a cute image.ㅠㅠㅠ Anyway... it was still my complex!! I thought, what could possibly be worse than my original nose??!! With that thought, I bravely got on the operating table..! Oh wow!! Surgery really is no jokeㅜㅠㅠ My breathing was heavy, and because of the anesthesia, they first did sleep anesthesia for 5 minutes and then seemed to give local anesthesia at that time! But after that sleep anesthesia, when I woke up, I thought the whole surgery was already over!!ㅠㅠ I asked, 'Doctor, is the surgery finished?' and he said, 'Hey~ we haven't even started yet' ㅠㅠ The anesthesia itself was hard too.. And since I talk a lot, I kept talking to him ㅠㅠ I'm scared and chatty.. The doctor told me to stop talking;;ㅎㅎ Then finally~ the surgery really started... my first surgery in 2005. ㅠㅠ Wow!! Cutting the ear cartilage made a scratching, slicing, clattering sound, and when I slightly opened my eyes.. I saw the knife above me.. Aaaah!!!!! I was really half fainting..ㅠㅠ Why did I do this..? I should have just lived with the face I was born with..ㅠㅠ I was crazy.. If only I could turn back time.ㅠㅠㅠ So many feelings were rushing through me.ㅠㅠ But then! The doctor suddenly went outside in the middle because someone called him ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I was so, so devastated.. I wanted to get out of the operating room as fast as possibleㅠㅠ Really.. doctor~~ Then about 20 minutes later he came back in ㅠㅠ I was anxious, restless... Aaah!! 정말.. Near the end of the surgery, they stitch the nose with a needleㅠㅠ But the anesthesia had completely worn off..ㅠㅠ So about 10 stitches felt like that movie Gladiator... not Maximus or anything like that.;;ㅠㅠㅠ I was absolutely horrified.ㅠ Still, this part was manageable... Sigh~ㅠㅠ And after many twists and turns, the 2005 surgery was finally over ㅠㅠ But the moment I went outside and looked in the mirror... I..ㅠㅠㅠ I.... I.. my heart completely collapsed.ㅠㅠㅠ If I could turn back time... that was all I could think about.ㅠㅠ People say the swelling goes down completely after a month or two!! Absolutely not. For me it took about a year. Aigoo!! Anyway, I thought it would take only two months, so I waited for two months living like a maniac on pumpkin porridge!! But what do you know... it was just so, so high. My nose tip was originally fairly high, so people told me not to get nose surgery.. I thought they would only lower the bridge between the eyebrows, so I went ahead with it;;;; But they put a full 5 mm of Gore-Tex into the entire nose, including the tip... Then when I said it was too high, the doctor said, 'It's not high at all!' Unbelievable!! He wasn't thinking about my face at all! What good is it if only the nose is insanely high? ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I really thought I was going to die.. So I never went back to that hospital because I couldn't stand even seeing it again... And for a whole year I really suffered mentally.. My mom kept calling me Pinocchio ㅠㅠㅠ Hmph, hmph, hmph ㅠㅠㅠ My mom tried desperately to stop me ㅠㅠ So I couldn't even complain... My mom said let's just make it a little more natural and only slightly higher.. But I didn't know they would take it all the way up to the tip of my nose, and I stubbornly insisted on getting 5 mmㅠㅠㅠ Ah~ really.. I had so little information, and I really regret doing it so recklessly at such a young age ㅠㅠ Anyway.. 11 But!!! The following year, the nose really was pretty.. I kept hearing that it was pretty, and people said I looked like a foreign child..ㅎㅎ Even men would sometimes follow me around..ㅎㅎㅎ Then starting in 2007, I began to feel like my nose was swelling? I did have that feeling, but since my nose had originally become a bit high, I just thought it was nothing... hmm.... The bridge between the eyebrows would slightly puff up and then go down, repeating over and over.. Still, I just lived with it.. The surgery itself was so horrific, and I didn't want to think about that time again, and I didn't want to go back to that hospital... the hospital image was a bit bad. Aigoo~~ So yes, delaying it was partly my fault too.ㅠㅠ And from early 2007 until now, August 2008, I think the inflammation probably progressed.ㅠㅠㅠㅠ Ughㅠㅠㅠ Then suddenly about two months ago, the area between my nose bridge and the bridge between the eyebrows swelled up insanely, right? ㅠㅠ I was scared, so I didn't go to the hospital.. Then my mom forcibly dragged me there, saying it wouldn't do to keep avoiding it. But.!~~!! What on earth was this??ㅜㅜㅜㅜ 'It needs to be removed.' ㅡㅡ^ Are you kidding??? I was already living with this nose because it was too high and I didn't want another revision surgery.... Crazy!! It was like a bolt from the blue ㅠㅠㅠ I was also preparing to transfer schools right nowㅠㅠ Ah~~~ It was so terrible that I burst into tears.ㅠㅠㅠ And the doctor had overraised it, didn't give any warning about inflammation, and anyway after failing once at that hospital I absolutely, absolutely didn't want another revision surgery there even if I died.. Honestly, removal is still a surgery too!!ㅠㅠ They said the nasal bridge would have to be reopened againㅠㅠㅠ What about the scar... my cartilage...ㅠㅠ Eek, sob! I was in such psychological pain just until 10 hours ago.. I'm still struggling now too.. That Gore-Tex thing... I really think it's no good. The doctor said it would let me do the pig nose a little, and what do you mean, a little;; If I had known it would be this uncomfortable, I really would not have had nose surgery. Wow!! Once your nose is done, you can't comfortably blow it anymore, and when I feel like crying I need to cry and then blow my nose hard to feel relieved, but even that becomes scary... and if anyone tries to touch my face, I react completely sensitively.. Sigh....... Also, my nostrils... because of the part where the cartilage was tied, or maybe because my nostrils are uneven, the entrance part looks like something is sticking out ..';;; Ah really... there are so many flaws I can't even describe them all. Really, only people who have done it would understand ㅠㅠㅠㅠ It's not something just anyone should do.. You have to think carefully and then think carefully again!! Cosmetic surgery is ㅠㅠㅠ Anyway..!!!!! I really agonized over it like crazy... Should I have the removal done at the place where I had my first surgery???? Or should I go to a good place in Seoul and have it removed???? My appointment was set for 10 o'clock today... The night before, I really stayed up all night and searched the internet like crazy for hospitals recommended for Gore-Tex removal. I just couldn't trust the doctor ㅜㅜ This morning I completely exploded... I cried my eyes out, almost like a meltdown.ㅠㅠ;;; Thinking about the surgery... 'I heard Gore-Tex removal is difficult.. will it really work?..ㅠㅠ What if I end up worse than my original nose shape... what will I do about the nostril size.. What about the nose tip again..ㅠㅠㅠㅠ This surgery really has to go well, should I research more and decide more carefully???ㅡㅡ' Even when I looked up famous plastic surgery clinics in Seoul, there was no answer.. In the end!!! My mom dragged me there by the arm!! My mom was at the edge of exploding too, but really... she held it together well.. She said she wanted to kill that doctor..;ㅠㅠ Anyway... So I had the surgery today.ㅠㅠㅠ As soon as I arrived at the hospital, I cried so much. Sigh!!! Then I calmed down and consulted with the doctor again.. He said he was really confident about Gore-Tex removal, enough to make me trust him. He said he had only worked on Gore-Tex for 15 years.... He asked me to trust him.. It was the first time I had seen this doctor's seriousness. Usually he made weird jokes, and jokes that weren't even funny and just made people upset, so I disliked it.. But I could feel his sincerity.. and I didn't really have any other way. In the end, I had the removal done at the place where I had my first surgery. He left the nose tip cartilage and the tied cartilage as they were, and only removed the Gore-Texㅠㅠ He said that if that were removed too, there would really be nothing left. He said that would be the wrong decision.. I was really worried about that too.. Being able to touch my nose freely, and even do the pig nose.. I was so jealous of a free nose... So I asked whether I could still do the pig nose even if the cartilage remained. I asked whether the pig nose would still work, and whether it would be okay even if crazy people touched it.. He said yes!! I got him to swear to it like that.. And then today I got onto the operating table. I had cried so much that my eyes were completely swollen.. In a dazed state.. Gogogo into the world of anesthesia...ㅠㅠ Another roller coaster ride~ whew~ Together with Radio Oryu~~~ The moment I woke up from sleep... This time, since it was my second time, I asked the doctor, 'Now the surgery is starting, right?' He said, 'Yeah~' And then something was poking and poking and poking inside my nose~~~!!! Ah ㅠㅠ Something I never want to imagine... Something like my skin being lifted up... That feeling... the removal... really...ㅠㅠㅠ It's no jokeㅜㅜ For this surgery, I had strongly asked them not to leave in the middle and go out again, so at least my mind was calm. Sigh..... And after 1 hour and 30 minutes of surgery... Again this time, when they were stitching me up...ㅠㅠ really.. why does the anesthesia keep wearing off? Aaaah!!ㅠㅠ I really screamed~ㅠㅠ That it hurt. That it hurt. That I wanted them to save me.....ㅠㅠ The feeling when they stitch you up... aigoo! I really got completely stressed out and I'm writing this now. I've written such a long account..ㅠㅠ Really, looking back on life from early 2005 to August 2008, if there are people now worrying about nose surgery, I personally want to tell you not to do it. If you really want correction, there are filler injections, right.. Find a clinic that administers them well without inflammation, try that once, and then think carefully later before deciding. I really think making a rushed choice only leads to regret.. The more urgent it is, the more you should take a detour..ㅠㅠ Really... the thought that 'I won't get inflammation' or 'it won't happen to me'.. I think that kind of thinking is forbiddenㅠㅠ That's how I was.. 'No way it'll happen to me??????? They say it's only 1%...' But maybe I was just a bit unlucky too.ㅠㅠ Anyway, from using it... it's really uncomfortable, and the original free nose is the best. That's how I feelㅠㅠㅠ Really, thank you if you read this rambling long post all the way to the end.. I even ended up writing many things I never even said to my mom. I have more to say.. But I'll stop here.^^ My nose is so swollen right now that I can hardly see.. I think there may be a lot of typos..^^ Anyway.. cosmetic surgery is no joke. Please be really careful. Your remaining life matters too.ㅠㅠ Sigh!! This time, will I really be able to do the pig nose and have a free nose?? ㅜㅜAigoo ㅠㅠㅠ I'm worried to death.. I was preparing to transfer schools, and now look at this.ㅠㅠ From the way things are right now, it's so swollen that it seems the same as before the surgery, even though the tape is still on.ㅠㅠ Everyone who is in the same situation as me, let's all stay strong..ㅠㅠ Inflammation, go away~~ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Then!! Wishing everyone good luck... I'll step back now...
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