I suddenly thought of this while writing an email to a friend, so I’m posting it... <<Sorry for writing informally~>> And...sorry it’s long...ㅠㅠ Please understand both of those...ㅠㅠ It’s only the third day, but...there isn’t much difference Still, on the first day I had a defined nasal bridge.... By the third day, the swelling had reached its peak Please...let this be the peak....ㅠㅠ While they were designing, poking around, and pulling here and there, I wondered what the hell I was doing....I even thought about just getting up and leaving After the design was finished, the doctor said, “Wow~ it’s pretty~” He had only drawn blue ink all over me... My fluttery ears...I got fooled again The anesthesia injection...damn....what kind of medicine is it that it feels like it’s burning my eye away..ㅠㅠ I wanted to swear so badly I was in too much pain to even strain my eyes, so I just wriggled my toes, and then something kept getting poked into my eye as it gradually lost sensation... The doctor said, “Wow...this patient really can endure it...(looking at the nurse next to him) Have you ever seen a patient who can endure it this well? You’re doing so well.” At that kind of syrupy empty flattery, I cried because I realized I was being fooled again.. They say if you strain during anesthesia you’ll get bruised, so I did my best to keep everything above my neck relaxed....but so what? I got bruised everywhere except where the anesthesia needle went in (Honestly, I almost cursed...it hurt so much..the pain only lasts a few seconds, but that sensation...is intense) Doctor...“Uh...you shouldn’t cry...the delicate design will get wiped away...” and he wipes my tears for me Ah...with this feeling that something is being sold a lot...more comes out..my tears... When they told me to close my eyes, I calmed myself down and squeezed them shut.... I could feel the doctor’s hand passing over my forehead....as that sensation passed, everything gradually became brighter... So they finally split it open.....I’m curious what’s inside the eyelid.. But only for a moment...while pulling back and forth on the threads sewn at the outer corners of my eyes, they do something.. Close your eyes, open them....close them, open them....repeating several times.... My knees send a signal....asking me to move them just once... I’m already debating whether to breathe through my mouth, so how am I supposed to move my knees....ㅠㅠ After working on something for quite a while, they say they’re starting the inner canthoplasty They tell me to open my eyes....they’re designing... After hesitating for a few seconds...suddenly the anesthesia syringe appears in my field of view....ㅠㅠ Again??????????????? A head nurse or manager person holds my hand....says it’ll hurt for a moment.. that doesn’t help at all..ㅠㅠ Inner canthoplasty...I’d rather get a few more anesthesia shots I’m keeping my eyes open while they bring a scalpel close....and the cut pieces of flesh from the scissors are moving back and forth......... By the time my butt and knees were wailing, they started stitching...(lying motionless for 2 hours...) The pulling sensation....almost none Honestly, except for the inner canthoplasty, I had no idea what they were doing When those transparent threads thinner than hair were irritating my cornea... I was starting to doubt whether the anesthetic eye drops they put in my eyes right after I lay down on the operating table were even working... The threads were touching the inside of my eye here and there, as if I were already numb.... Tears were flowing endlessly.... There was so much cutting and splitting that there was a lot to stitch too...it didn’t end easily...ㅠㅠ Whether it was done or not....above my head they kept repeating “Please open your eyes” “Please close your eyes” “Open them wider” over and over, scraping away at the bottom of my patience... After a long while, the doctor’s mask with red dots on a light blue background says, “It’s pretty~ The inner canthoplasty turned out really well, it’s pretty.” Flap flap flap flap flap flap~~ I looked in the mirror....as expected....as expected...a wild beast of one You people...what exactly is your standard of beauty!! Before helping me sit up, they had cleaned my face well, but there were still blood droplets splattered from the forceful laser fire while stopping the bleeding.. So that’s what the red polka dots on the doctor’s mask were for...(...my eyesight is so bad that even when I shoved my face close, I still couldn’t see well...) The doctor said, “Please show me the fat and sagging skin that was removed”.... The nurse next to him hands something on gauze... Fat like strawberry syrup mixed into yellow pudding.... Things that looked like two blue eye patches attached to them...this...from both eyes, 2 each ...four blue eye patches..... I suddenly felt embarrassed...mid-20s...where did that extra skin come from.... Since my place was nearby, the head nurse kindly allowed me an hour of warm compresses even though it was late... That hand that held mine earlier....now feels warm... Just as I was about to leave after an hour of warm compresses....the head nurse points something out “One inner-canthoplasty stitch has come loose, let’s just sew one stitch~” I lay down in the treatment room with a light heart The doctor who came out after finishing the next surgery looked at me and said, “Oh~ it came loose,” and brought something that made a metallic sound... And then...he just sews it... My eyes are open.... Where does this round needle pass through... Where exactly is the thread going... and how is the knot tied... The dilated pupils from the shock couldn’t see it precisely... but my skin felt it completely....ㅠㅠ My nerves of pain had completely figured it out....ㅠㅠ Reading posts about getting stitched up again...I hated myself for hearing it with my feet... It hurts like crazy...it hurts...it hurts so much my pupils go slack.. After that, I can barely remember how I took a taxi and who I came home with.. I couldn’t easily shake off the mental shock The next morning...when I woke up...my nasal bridge had disappeared I feel wronged...if I had surgery on my nose and my nose swelled up, fine... I only had eye surgery, so why are you doing this to me.... Still, the throbbing is less severe... In the afternoon I went to the hospital for a checkup and disinfection... That older sister there...while doing the dressing, she threw out empty words like whether I slept well last night, whether it hurt a lot... but that hand didn’t seem to have much consideration for me.. Couldn’t you be a little gentler...noona??? ㅠㅠ It hurts....ㅠㅠ Today is the third day...the nasal bridge is still gone... But...it seems something near the inner canthoplasty has come undone...it’s open....ㅠㅠ Everything else seems to have stuck....but that one opposite side is causing trouble.... I asked the hospital...and they immediately made an appointment for me.... For tomorrow’s date....tomorrow..tomorrow... A bitter anesthesia shot once, or just take out 2 stitches without delay.... (Only the inner canthoplasty came loose in 2 places....ㅠㅠ ...) Even today I can’t sleep because of tomorrow’s dilemma....ㅠㅠ Why does the road to the hospital feel so long and rough... Once...I start to look human, I’ll upload photos too....ㅠㅠ For those who are going to do it, and those who already did it....... Be brave.... It’ll end quickly, and it’ll come loose quickly too.
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