It's not a nose surgery review, but..^^

I was originally someone scheduled to have surgery at 3 PM on the 19th at a plastic surgery clinic in Gangnam The hospital I was going to have surgery at is also extremely famous for noses and is packed full of people I have no nasal bridge and no bone at the nasal tip, so from the side my face really looked completely flat. I was really stressed because of this. Maybe my mom also felt how serious it was, she said she would let me have surgery, so I went to the hospital with my mom, had a consultation, immediately paid a 200,000 won deposit, and booked the surgery With one week left, I was really, really happy I wanted to have the surgery right away the next day and was bouncing around But then I went to this community and other cafes and read reviews? or posts, and there were many people removing silicone too Of course there are side effects that make people remove silicone, but even people whose nose surgery went well were doing it, they said From what I heard.. a burden on the mind.. Fear of side effects? because of things like that there were even people who had it removed right after surgery.. From then on, I really thought hard On top of that, the skin between my eyebrows is extremely thin It's so thin that I can almost only feel the skin itself But imagine putting silicone under this skin.. I thought it would definitely be obvious So I started worrying about whether I should have the surgery Why was I born like this, really.. I just cried My family isn't well-off either, and my mother also needs toe? surgery, but because I was suffering so much she said she would let me have nose surgery Then I also thought, do I really need to do it? Also, it was written that they don't refund the deposit, right? So I felt even more helpless and just cried.. But fortunately, rather than giving up surgery and not getting the 200,000 won back, I decided to at least remove some moles I haven't definitively decided yet that I'm cancelling the surgery, but I talked with the manager, and if I decide I really can't do the surgery, we agreed to go with mole removal instead I'm thinking of removing about 6 moles, including an ugly mole next to my eye, one near my ear, one on my neck, one near my chin, etc.. Anyway.. the conclusion is.. I'm extremely timid.. After surgery there may be satisfaction, but.. really, like other people say, worry? or something like that.. I don't think I can handle it For me.. Those of you who have surgery coming up! I hope your surgery goes well, but.. if you're conflicted like me, I really hope you think about it again and again.. Even if I can't have surgery, I'm going to live while taking care of myself now. Even though I'm 22, I used to go around without makeup Now I'll learn some makeup and create an effect that makes my nose look a bit higher and my eyes look a bit bigger I'll take care of my skin.. lose weight, and wear pretty clothes when I go around^^ Anyway, rambling on and on.. I wrote down my feelings? my heart. I'm sorry^^