It’s really, really hard to make a decision, right? What I felt after my surgery was... Here on this community and elsewhere too, when you read review posts, there are so many posts especially about facial contouring saying people regret it, had a hard time, or are discouraged from getting it, right? Before surgery, I would think, well, that could happen... but it won’t happen to me... so I didn’t even take it in, with such a careless attitude. But once I actually went through it myself, I felt those words from back then one by one, in a way that really hit hard. So I want to share my experience in hopes it helps those of you preparing for surgery, even just a little. No matter how much plastic surgery has become mainstream and cosmetically common, plastic surgery... this is not something to think about lightly. The day of surgery... the week after that... and even now, 25 days later... it was very hard. I was in a lot of pain. I had double eyelid burial, canthoplasty, and square jaw surgery all at once. The eye surgery hurt more than the jaw surgery. They did the burial and canthoplasty first under local anesthesia, (when they inject the anesthetic into the eye, it really, really hurtsㅠㅠ even now, just thinking about it is truly horrible... ugh~~~) After the eyes were done, they switched to sedation anesthesia, and I don’t remember much after the anesthesiologist came in and chatted with the nurses and among themselves. When I woke up, I had an oxygen mask on and a cold pack on my eyes. I was dazed and not at all clear-headed... I could hear people talking, but I couldn’t open my eyes and my body wouldn’t move the way I wanted... A smell of medicine rose from my stomach, and I felt nauseated and queasy... Even after they moved me from the recovery room to the ward, I sat there blankly for hours. On the bed next to me, a young woman who had a revision surgery for a receded chin was lying there blankly... haha When I came to my senses a little and looked, there was something at the corner of my mouth like someone had described: a long, thin tube with a grenade-like round transparent blood bag attached to the end. I was curious about what I looked like, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look in the mirror... After the doctor came by, asked if I was okay, and left, I gathered my courage and with trembling hands, picked up the mirror. Even though it was my own face, it was so dreadful I was scared it might appear in my dreams haha For the first two days, I could manage with painkiller injections, but honestly, from that point on it got harder. There was some bleeding, so compared with other people, they left the blood drain in one extra day before removing it. I was so afraid of swelling that I couldn’t even lie down, so I slept sitting up for several days, and because I couldn’t open my mouth, I got by only on pumpkin juice and drinks... I could barely eat a little porridge with a spoon... Until the fifth day, I hardly slept at all. To reduce swelling quickly, I kept doing cold compresses almost nonstop, drank more than 10 packs of pumpkin juice a day, two at a time haha Since they said I had to gargle well, I held my breath against the medicine smell and did it constantly... When dawn came, a throbbing pain would set in. Swelling that wouldn’t go down, a numb chin, and not being able to wash properly meant I looked a complete mess... I couldn’t even talk about it at home, so I was terrified my family would find out... I couldn’t meet friends, and when they called I made excuses, then eventually I stopped answering calls at all... It’s still like that now. I can’t even make eye contact, and it’s almost like social anxiety... From before surgery until now, every evening I’ve been going around all kinds of websites searching, asking questions, looking into hospitals, reading reviews... I spent so much money, and suffered physically and mentally... I really went through a lot. But the result isn’t satisfying either... I’m even thinking about revision... I’m too embarrassed to tell anyoneㅠㅠ Still, I’ve been getting through each day with comfort from the people here. Just up until last week I was at the absolute depths of depression, but since this week started, I’ve been getting a little better. It was really bad enough that I probably should have gotten psychiatric treatment. What made me the most depressed was... realizing I would never, ever be able to go back to how I looked before. I wasn’t so severely angular or square that I was hard to look at. I’ve never once been called ugly or criticized for my looks in my life, but I just wanted to be a little prettier because of my own greed... I used to look in the mirror and comfort myself that my eyes, nose, and mouth were all small, and although my face was big, it had its own charm... but now... No matter how ugly and unsatisfactory it is, it was still the face my mom and dad gave me... The old face can now only be seen in photos... The loss is that it’s not just a prettier face, but that I’ve truly lost my original self forever... And then there’s the fear of what other people will think of me... The fact that I alone have to take responsibility for all of it... The idea that chasing beauty can ruin your life isn’t just about the outer appearance after all. So, everyone, unless yours is really severely abnormal... Please think it over again, and then think it over once more before deciding... It may turn out fairly well to the extent you want, but it can’t become a celebrity-like face, and it can’t turn out 100% perfect. There are not as many people who succeed as you might think. I also used to think that once I had surgery, everything would change. As if the world would change... I thought everything would go well. I wasn’t completely unconcerned about side effects or aftereffects, but honestly I felt they had nothing to do with me. Of course I’d become prettier... I’m not saying I have aftereffects now or that the surgery failed. The swelling has gone down to some extent, and the hollowed area that had been over-shaved is gradually filling in with tissue again, so it’s getting softer... It’s not a complete V-line, but the angular parts have rounded out... My eyes have not become dramatically bigger, but the double eyelids have settled naturally... and thanks to all the hardship, I also lost some weight... I think that’s how it is. Everyone just thinks, well, this is about as good as it gets... and feels satisfied. There is always something a little lacking somewhere, and after surgery you also need the confidence and composure to overcome that, and if you haven’t had surgery yet, you need the courage and wisdom to soothe that small lacking part and turn it into your own charm. Of course, that’s terribly hard. For those who are not satisfied with their appearance, for those who think surgery is the only way to survive... Please take one more look back and think carefully about whether, in seeking outer beauty, you might also be hurting your heart or your thoughts... then decide. Especially since it’s the eyes, nose, mouth, and jaw... your face. If you’ve decided, be even more careful one more time~! Humans are so fickle that I even find myself thinking, maybe parts other than the face would be okay... like liposuction for obese areas, for example. Or even for the face, maybe skin cosmetic procedures instead of plastic surgery... Ah... I’m human too, after all.. haha I hope all of you become beautiful in both body and mind and find happiness~~ Fighting! Fighting!!! Also, I’m sorry, but I respectfully decline any hospital inquiries or cost inquiries. This is just a post written from my small personal thoughts..
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