I had it removed... I'm going crazy...

I had it removed on Tuesday, and on the 4th day they told me to take the taping off by myself at home, so I took it off... There is swelling too, but I really kept crying... The tears wouldn't stop.. For the surgery, I had a very slight hump... and they shaved that down, tied the nasal tip cartilage, used an L-shaped silicone implant they had never mentioned, ear cartilage, and did alar lowering, which I had canceled before surgery.. I had removal because the silicone was moving, showing through, shifting to the right, and gradually compressing the nasal tip, making the skin at the nasal tip extremely thin... They said they would do revision surgery for me, and told me they would do it with MISKO. I was seriously dumbfounded.......... sigh ㅡㅡ After the removal surgery, I waited 1 hour for the director and barely got to see him, and I asked, "I had alar lowering surgery done, right?" He said it had been done and that he removed it. So 2 days later, when I went for disinfection, I asked the nurse, "Why did you do the alar lowering surgery that I had canceled...?" (It is a surgery that puts cartilage in both alae; because of that, my nose became really big and blunt.) She said, "The doctor must have been mistaken... It was removed, so it's fine now..." This freaking nonsense....... seriously.. ugh....... What worries me most right now is... the dorsum area where the hump was shaved... It was shaved down so much that the 90-degree side view is smooth, but if I turn my head even a little, it's bumpy.... (I can't explain the reason for this in writing,...) And!!!!!!!! From the front..... there is really no answer.. Seriously, that area where the hump was shaved... when I touch it with my hand, it's flat.. so from the front, it really looks like I have no nose... And after my nose surgery, the silicone had shifted to the right. After removing it, I realized the silicone had shifted to the right because they shaved the nasal dorsum diagonally.... The clinic told me it was because my nose was crooked... unbelievable.. The nasal tip is really wider and flatter than before surgery and looks like a bulbous nose... And other people worry because their nose is upturned, but after my nose surgery, the silicone kept moving downward, so my nose drooped down like an arrow nose... The skin above the columella kept coming down. But even after removal, that part is the same.. a droopy nose... Ah seriously... when I see my side profile at 45 degrees, it's bumpy,, it looks so bad I feel like throwing up........... Still, I do feel relieved that I removed it... and it's good that I can live without having thoughts like not knowing when I will need revision surgery... and it's good that my nasal tip is soft........ But how I look now... makes me so upset.... As time passes, I'll get used to how I look and feel okay, right.... I'm so upset about the nasal dorsum I could die.. I'm already thinking maybe I should get filler later, or maybe I should have surgery again, and I hate myself so much for thinking this and feel so pathetic that I'm going crazy I have no one to talk to... so I'm leaving this post because I feel frustrated... Everyone, have a happy Lunar New Year^^..