If there is anyone who got out of a situation like mine, please leave me a message or a comment.. I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday~ I've had my nose done 4 times, you know?? But honestly, my personality itself is a total mess. I'm completely crazy, extremely sensitive, a perfectionist beyond my place, and my personality is completely exhausting. Before surgery, because I had this kind of personality, without even realizing it, I think I avoided everything that was complicated, difficult, things I couldn't handle or didn't have the confidence to take responsibility for. But after getting my nose done, I guess a person's original personality, or whatever you call it.. things like that start to show. I had a girlfriend I dated for over 5 years, and even before surgery I was completely reckless, did whatever I wanted, met her when I wanted, then disappeared all the time, and if she asked me to go somewhere I said it was annoying and didn't go, and we fought every day. This time I was supposed to go to the training center, but I postponed it again. I have to get re-examined again this time.. honestly, it seems like I could get grade 5 for mental illness. The conclusion is that I broke up with my girlfriend yesterday. Writing something like this in a place like this is kind of funny in itself. For over 2 years I've lived completely shut away, even when friends contacted me I ignored them all, and I purposely threw my phone aside, and now I don't even know where my phone is. I'm a bit unusual, I say some nonsense too, and because I'm sensitive, if something doesn't fit or goes wrong, I drop everything and just ignore it. That's my style. This time, because of my nose, I felt frustrated and all that, so I didn't turn on my phone for over 10 days. So I was in the middle of fighting a lot with my girlfriend, and I had also had removal and revision surgery, and even then my girlfriend comforted me a lot and treated me well; But when I called yesterday, more than my girlfriend, my nose ㅡㅡ;; Is it more important? I just didn't care about my girlfriend or anything, and only cared about my face, so I told her let's break up. But I do feel relieved. But I really think I'm a bad guy. When I had the revision surgery this time, the director was also a very good person, so why am I like this ㅡㅡ;; Why do I disappoint everyone and act like a crazy person? Does everything really only end if I die? I really hate becoming such a bad person to someone. Why does it have to be like this.. Should I go to the mountains? Or should I ignore everything and go somewhere to work? Or should I just lose my mind and live like I am now? When I try to come to my senses and do something, it gets even harder;; This probably isn't only a face problem, but because one thing isn't resolved, the other 10 things all get messed up. Since this is a problem with my personality, I guess there's nothing I can do. Actually, my nose isn't really severely strange either, and it may be partly because my personality itself is unusual and I pursue perfection, but before surgery was definitely better. My face itself was completely better before surgery. But going back to that time is like a dream, and I have to get out of this somehow. 1. Should I go to the mountains? 2. Ignore everything and work. 3. Study (in my current situation, completely.. unrealistic though) 4. Have surgery to go back to the past;; (if my nose is restored, I think about 80% would come back) 5. Lose my mind and live comfortably; 6. Go to a psychiatric hospital. Is there anyone who, like me, went this extremely far down to rock bottom.. and escaped?? If so, please answerㅠ Messages or comments are welcome
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